Hunter Talks to Her 18 Year-Old Daughter
Maggie
Hunter Clarke-Fields talks to her 18-year old daughter, Maggie, about what it was like to grow up in her family. She shares her memories of growing up in a unique community, lessons and values she’s carrying forward, her chronic pain condition, and even parenting failures!
Ep 541- Maggie
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*This is an auto-generated transcript*
[00:00:00] Maggie: We were putting a lot of work and like stress on ourselves. And then there's the whole applying to college, getting into college and like then the stressors of social media and everything like that. So like it's scary becoming an adult and learning how to do adult things.
[00:00:26] Hunter: You are listening to The Mindful Mama Podcast, episode #541. In this very special episode, I talk to Maggie, my 18-year-old daughter.
Welcome to the Mindful Mama Podcast. Here it's about becoming a less irritable, more joyful parent. At Mindful Mama, we know that you cannot give what you do not have, and when you have calm and peace within, then you can give it to your children. I'm your host, Hunter Clarke-Fields. I help smart, thoughtful parents stay calm so they can have strong, connected relationships with their children. I've been practicing mindfulness for over 25 years. I'm the creator of the Mindful Parenting Course and Teacher Training, and I'm the author of the International Bestseller “Raising Good Humans Every Day”, and the “Raising Good Humans Guided Journal”.
Hey, I wanna let you know that I'm now offering lunch and learn talks for your workplace to bring practical, mindfulness and mindful parenting tools right where they're needed most. Whether you're a working parent trying to juggle it all, or you want to support the parents in your company. These talks are designed to nourish and empower. Here are just a few of the topics I've been sharing recently: “Calm in the Chaos”, “How to Talk So Kids Will Listen”, “How to Stop yelling at your Kids”. I offer mindfulness practices and parenting insights for working parents and care. Caregivers, simple ways to stay centered in the swirl of work and life. If you are in HR or a parent group or you want to bring this kind of support to your workplace, reach out to me at support@mindfulmamamentor.com. Let's make the workplace a little more mindful and parenting a lot more peaceful.
So in this episode, you get to take a peek inside my life. You may have heard about my daughter Maggie. She was the kid when she was two years old, who inspired all the work of raising good humans and mindful parenting, the mindful parenting teacher training because she was so highly sensitive and when my temper came out and all of those things. So I've talked a lot about her. When she was little. So recently she turned 18 years old and she agreed to talk to me for the podcast and she shares memories about what it was like to grow up with me as her mom. Things that I did that were good, things that I did that weren't so good. And she shares memories of growing up in this kind of unique community we live in. You'll hear about her chronic pain condition and we come back to her childhood after we talk about that- and wait till you hear she I'm it was like blew my mind. She admits that she appreciates that I limit her screen time when she was little. Wow. Her little self would've been shocked at her. So there's a lot in here. I hope you enjoy it. I really loved talking to Maggie and I felt really gratified and that she was, wanted to talk to me for this episode. So I am so pleased and honored to share a little bit of this awesome human being with you. So join me at the table as I talk to my daughter, Maggie.
Maggie, thank you so much for coming on the Mindful Mama Podcast. Welcome. This is your first appearance your voice has in I don't know, like six years. I think you might've read an ad once and then you also said “Welcome!”f
[00:04:09] Maggie: Get with
[00:04:09] Hunter: the
[00:04:09] Maggie: microphone. Oh, I just wanna intro my cute baby voice.
[00:04:13] Hunter: I have that somewhere. I will cherish it forever. I'm not
[00:04:15] Maggie: a cute baby anymore.
[00:04:17] Hunter: And you have a little cold. So yeah, dear listener, this is her just slightly having a cold voice, but this is so cool. I'm so glad you agreed to come on the podcast.
'cause people have heard all about you. Do you feel like weirdly famous for being like crying as a two year?
[00:04:38] Maggie: Yeah, probably what like thousands of people, only their only rec like recollection of me in their brain is that I was a, a tantrum me 2-year-old. I dunno if that's a good like image to be putting out in the world of myself, but.
[00:04:56] Hunter: Whatever. We, the truth is we are all tantrum me two year olds, like every single person.
True. It's just yours happened to, mine's being
[00:05:03] Maggie: publicized.
[00:05:05] Hunter: Publicized
[00:05:06] Maggie: by
[00:05:06] Hunter: your
[00:05:06] Maggie: mom. Mom using me for content she used.
[00:05:11] Hunter: Yeah, but it was also my experience too. True. So it was, but it's weird 'cause it was both of our experience. Although at two it's just such
[00:05:20] Maggie: I wasn't really conscious.
I was just like food and stuff. You were like, give me bunny crackers.
[00:05:29] Hunter: Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. You were obsessed with bunny crackers. Yeah, it's interesting. I've thought about that 'cause yeah, that's very much your story and so I tend to talk about you a lot 'cause it was, my story was that, I you, you're highly sensitive person as and that.
It was, I, it was my temper. I had trouble with that. So that's like kind of both of our story. It's interesting.
[00:05:56] Maggie: You can't raise a good human without a good human to raise.
[00:06:00] Hunter: Yeah, you were a good human to raise.
[00:06:02] Maggie: I thank you. I appreciate it.
[00:06:06] Hunter: Okay, cool. Tell me about, I, I think it's interesting for people to know, like you're 18 now and we, I wrote about like you when you were like.
Two 18 months old and challenges that were really typical for every 2-year-old. And you just were highly sensitive kid, just not surprising 'cause I'm a highly sensitive person. But yeah. What was your childhood like?
[00:06:34] Maggie: It's a very general question. I don't know. Lots of I was outside a lot.
'cause we live in Arden. Do the people know about Arden? Probably not. We live in this artist community. There's lots of like woods and community events and neighbors. It's a very nice place to grow up. There's a playground and loads of woods just right down my street. So a lot of the times.
Me and my sister would just go outside and go down to the creek and pretend to be fairies or whatever for hours. And that was great. Like I loved that. I. We did a lot of book reading and we had a lot of freedom. Just like oftentimes we'd just be like, we're going outside, and my mom would be like, okay.
[00:07:30] Hunter: Yeah. Yeah. We're lucky that way. I know that other people would like that, right? Like we live in a cul-de-sac, so it's really safe. Yeah. Pretty easy to just stay in the yard as a kid and not get squashed by a truck or something.
[00:07:45] Maggie: Yeah. We weren't in the yard, but we weren't being squashed by trucks either.
Yeah. It would not be that easy if I was like, we were in a city or something like that.
[00:07:55] Hunter: Do you have any memories from before Sora was born? She was born when you were three? I don't think so. Yeah. Okay. It was always she was your best birthday present. I still say. Okay. So yeah, so we live in the art and lots of like woods, lots of outside time.
That was big for me too, was to outside and to get you outside. I know I kicked you outta the house a couple times.
[00:08:21] Maggie: Yeah. My hypnotherapist said that led to a fear of rejection or something like that. Yeah, but I know my, the hypnotherapist, she was a bit woo. So I don't know if I trusted her with that.
But
[00:08:36] Hunter: I know it's interesting when you told me that it might've been like this, 'cause I was like, I must have been. Frustrated and feeling a little, like I just needed some space and it was like, you need to, you guys need to go outside. I can't, I don't remember that incident obviously but this, it was interesting to hear you say that and think, oh, okay, maybe I did.
I. And still like a fear of rejection as a very primal
[00:09:00] Maggie: fear. Fear. Like I remember being told, I remember specifically you being like angry at us and making us go outside and locking the door and saying, you guys can't come back for the next half hour or something? No, like hour plus and just being really scared and I don't know what to do.
She's not gonna let us back in.
[00:09:24] Hunter: I'm sorry. It's fine. I'm sorry if I scared you. I can't imagine, I would've said you can't come home for two hours, but, but I imagine that's might have been how you heard it as a kid. Oh yeah. Yeah.
[00:09:38] Maggie: Like as a kid, half an hour is like four hours to you.
[00:09:43] Hunter: Yeah. It feels so and you were older so you felt more responsible?
[00:09:47] Maggie: Yeah, I was responsible for Sora.
[00:09:49] Hunter: And we don't know what ages this was. No. So I can see Child Protective Services being called on me. Stay tuned for more Mindful Mama podcasts right after this break.
Obviously nobody comes away from their childhood without some. Hurt some things, it was like, oh, I felt, I definitely felt some sadness that I, if I caused you to be scared, I definitely didn't want that, but who knows? No, I thought it was like a one time thing, pretty much.
But then it was interesting because then you wrote about it in your college essay, like that same thing. I love this super positive light. Yeah, it's true. And then I was like, huh, maybe I shouldn't feel so bad after all.
[00:12:53] Maggie: Because you were, what did you say in your college essay? I don't remember. I like something like as.
When I was a kid, my mom would kick me, kick us out of the house and tell us not to come back till like dinner and we would just go out into the woods and play fairies and catch my nose and this very positive portrayal of the same exact situation. It was most of the time. Yeah. Yeah, the majority of the time it was very positive.
[00:13:20] Hunter: Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Good. And for the people don't know we could get to it, but you were going to hypnotherapist because you were diagnosed in 2021 with a chronic pain condition- AMPS (Amplified Musculoskeletal Pain Syndrome)
[00:13:43] Maggie: Fibromyalgia is what I like to call it, because it's basically the same thing. But fibromyalgia is some more like universally recognized diagnosis. They just weren't able to give it to me 'cause it was pediatric and there are no pediatric diagnostic criteria for fibromyalgia.
[00:14:03] Hunter: What is it for people who don't know?
[00:14:04] Maggie: So, it’s neurological disorder where your vagus nerve amplifies all of your pain signals- it constricts your blood vessels, which then also amplifies your pain signals. So basically it's a constant amplification of every pain signal you get. So even light touches, like just, tapping your head that hurts. So basically every sensation I experience is pain, which isn't great. But it comes with a lot of things like headaches and fatigue and stomach problems. And I also probably have Hypermobile Ehlers Danlos Syndrome which is like hypermobile loose joints, which leads to a lot of frequent sprains dislocations subluxations and like just joint insta instability in general. It's made high school a little challenging.
[00:15:09] Hunter: Yeah. And without us like getting, we don't wanna get super medical in this, but it's been, yeah. The whole thing has been really hard for you obviously. It's been really hard for me. That's for sure. I mean you to now that we're we're X number of years out of it, you are doing just to let people know you're doing a lot better than you were.
[00:15:33] Maggie: Yeah, I mean I guess it's hard to quantify or like remember how I was doing and for reference, I was diagnosed. In the middle of freshman year of high school. I'm a senior now. It's hard to remember how I was doing freshman year, but I did, I had to drop out of gym. I remember not being able to hand write assignments like almost at all, 'cause my fingers would swell up so much and hurt so much.
That I would just, I would go to the nurse and get like a heating pad and carry it around just in my hands. Because that was like the only thing that kind of helped. And you, it hurt you to walk. Yeah, it hurt to walk, it hurt to sit, basically hurt to do everything. So most of my freshman year, I didn't really do.
Any extracurriculars or anything freshman year? 'cause I was at physical therapy, I was going to a chiropractor, I was going to doctors. 'cause the first half of freshman year we were trying to figure out what it was. And then the second half of freshman year was like, okay, you're in physical therapy now.
Which was like twice a week, which was a lot for me. But it And now you're hiking? Yeah. Like we
[00:16:55] Hunter: went on a half an hour hike two days ago.
[00:16:58] Maggie: Yeah. It goes up and down like the end of sophomore year. I was doing really well. Like I would go on. I could go on long hikes. I was starting to run again.
Oh yeah. And stuff. And then I went to Germany on an exchange trip and like it all went downhill 'cause my pain response to stress. So basically I was so stressed out going to Germany, I had to leave a week early. And my fatigue was terrible. I could like barely move basically. And I spent the rest of the summer in a really bad state of fatigue and pain like I
[00:17:41] Hunter: could, that was a low point.
And it really, you, I think that point after Germany helped you to see oh, this is. Terrible. I need to get out of this. Yeah, and it really, you really worked from there to do a lot of things to help yourself become better.
[00:17:56] Maggie: I could barely walk a block then. I was bad. Like it was really painful.
And I've have now, I have some medications that help. I've been doing athletic training, which has really been helping. Like I didn't really realize how much. It would help, but it doesn't really decrease the amount of pain I'm in, but it increases the amount of tolerance I have for things like at the start of.
Last year I was walking with a cane a lot 'cause my legs were hurting so much and the cane increased my capacity for standing longer, for walking longer. So it helped. And I've been doing athletic training and it's been like a lot better because. My athletic trainer, she's been able to specifically help strengthen the muscles that need strengthening for me.
So like I can do things longer and like now I'm going on runs, I'm going on hikes. And if you're able to do extreme weightlifting or like long hikes or long runs, you can exist better in normal day-to-day life. I'm not training to do sports. I'm just training to exist.
[00:19:20] Hunter: And you haven't used a cane in a long time, I noticed.
[00:19:22] Maggie: No, I haven't. I haven't really needed it that much, which is nice.
[00:19:29] Hunter: It was hard for everyone in the family to see you using a cane. Yeah, I, it was, we, I understood, I had to come around to it, but it was hard to, it's hard to see my, your child. It's really hard to see your child like debilitate and suffering when you should be like in the prime of, and it,
[00:19:46] Maggie: yeah, the whole people being sad, seeing me with a cane is annoying because like it, yes, I'm in pain, but also I'm in more pain without the cane.
Yeah. Like you should be sadder to see me without the cane. Yes, cane signify old people and they signify, yeah, debilitation and disability. But I have a disability like it's gonna be there whether I have a cane or not. And I don't know, I. It's, it just annoying, like this sort of stigma around it when it's literally just, oh, so I can walk longer.
I
[00:20:26] Hunter: don't
[00:20:27] Maggie: know.
[00:20:27] Hunter: Yeah. Yeah. I see that. And you made those arguments to me, but I we jumped ahead. I wanted to ask you a little bit more about when you were a kid and I was wondering if there was something that, you know. Me or Daddy did as a parent that ever made you feel like, we talked about the challenging moment.
Is there anything that we ever did that made you feel like really loved or safe?
[00:20:51] Maggie: I don't really know. Of course there were lots of things, but I can't really think of anything specific. Okay.
[00:20:59] Hunter: That's okay. Just yeah. Hugs things like that. Yeah probably hugs and things like that.
Okay. All. Is there, looking back, is there any kinda like childhood habit or something you believed that makes you laugh now?
Real? Oh yeah. You
[00:21:19] Maggie: used to say drill. I read so many books as a kid I read so, so many books. As a kid you did, you read a lot of books and I didn't really know how to talk that much and I, most of the words I encountered in life came from a book and not from someone. Talking to me, so I made up my own pronunciations, a lot of words, and I was adamant for quite a while.
That drill was pronounced, drill, drill.
[00:21:52] Hunter: It's like the Eastern European version or something like of the I, you, in Europe, people say the letter IE they pronounce it E you did have a
[00:22:02] Maggie: drill as a kid. Do
[00:22:03] Hunter: you
[00:22:03] Maggie: remember your drill?
[00:22:04] Hunter: I,
[00:22:04] Maggie: my little hand drill. I love drop pan drill. I love making things like, I remember making a little set of tables and chairs for my dollhouse.
Oh yeah, I still have those. They're in the dollhouse over there. Yeah. I felt very proud of my table and chairs and like now I've, I built like floor to ceiling bookshelves. Yeah. For our living room. In high school. Like in high school. So I guess it's good you gave me that hand drill. It paid off. We paid, we gave you the,
[00:22:33] Hunter: the little toolkit.
I think when you were six, maybe seven. I dunno. And it had a little hand saw in it. Yeah. And the a drill that's you wind it, it's not a crank drill, hand crank drill. And you would drill holes in all the blocks.
[00:22:53] Maggie: What else is I supposed to
[00:22:55] Hunter: drill holes in? I know. It's obviously the obvious piece of wood to drill holes.
At the time, of course. Do you remember any of the games you and Sarah played? Because you guys had a lot of games, a lot of things that involved all the scarves. Actually, I was just talking about the scarves, like how the scarves were like the best toy.
[00:23:15] Maggie: Yeah, they were great. I don't really. I don't know really remember anything specific.
I remember doing lots of dress up, lots of fort building, lots of fort building. The scarves were like the grooves. Yeah. Lots of
[00:23:30] Hunter: things With the Legos, there were, there was the whole, there was the whole arrow where you you cut open the stuffed animals and put hearts in them. You were doing like
[00:23:40] Maggie: surgery.
We were obsessed with Beanie Boo. And we would, oh, we would give, make them do a little races down the railing of the stairs. Oh yeah. Like we would time how long they took to slide down the railing of the stairs. And we would do like a bracket of the Beanie Boo races. And we would do like Beanie Boo Doctor, where we'd give them checkups.
And then I think we'd say, oh, like you don't have a. Soul and cut out a little construction, paper, heart, and like literally cut open the beanie boo and put a little heart in it and sew it up. Like I still have super waddles in my bedroom. His super waddles is the Beanie B penguin, and I made him a little cape and I cut open him and put on her in him.
He was the best Beanie boo slider. He won all the competitions. All right. And you still have half? Yes, I do half lives on top of one of my stereo speakers. We should explain what half with their bear. Do you wanna explain? Half is the like small. Like lovey blanket thing that has like a sheep head.
That they gave me when I was really little and they tried to tell a baby when I was a baby and they tried to tell me to call it flat sheep. I know. That's just what we called it. Oh, you called it flat sheep, but I couldn't say flat sheep, so I just said half. So it's been half forever. And there's also a bear who is a bear.
[00:25:16] Hunter: Yeah. Yeah. So lots of good things. Yeah. It's fun to remember all those crazy things and all those creative projects, they ended up turning into oh, I don't know, like your movie that you filmed about the robber's daughter in the woods in that movie. All kinds of things.
[00:25:36] Maggie: Bonus points to anyone who finds my YouTube channel and watches that movie,
[00:25:42] Hunter: the Robber's daughter. If you had to give. Me like your parent, a piece of advice jumping ahead in time about parenting a 17, 18-year-old person, what would it be?
[00:25:56] Maggie: I don't know. Give us grace with things. 'cause there's, I don't think adults realize how much stress and pressure.
We are put under and everyone is put under I don't know, maybe it's 'cause I'm just hanging around a lot of the honors kids at school, but like we have so much, like a lot of the times we're going to school for seven hours a day plus work multiple times a week, plus extracurriculars. Were basically.
Working like what, 10 hours a day on? School work, extracurriculars, homework. We were putting a lot of work and like stress on ourselves. And then there's the whole applying to college. Getting into college and like then the stressors of social media and everything like that. So like it's scary becoming an adult and learning how to do adult things, but also I don't know, maybe it's 'cause I don't have the perspective, but it feels like we're doing a lot more than adults are almost like we're working our jobs on top of doing so many other things.
I don't know, give us grace. We might need like help, comfort stuff like that. We're just figuring things out. We're not actually adults yet.
[00:27:23] Hunter: Yeah, I could see that. I'm trying to remember when I was 17 or 18 and how I felt like, I think I felt like no, I am an adult now. It's just let me be an adult.
I don't know. That's how I felt. It was interesting. I Maybe it's a generational thing maybe. Yeah. Yeah, like you, everything's super different now. Obviously I grew up without the internet. Yeah, you grew up where it always existed.
[00:27:49] Maggie: Yeah.
[00:27:50] Hunter: Do you like that? Or do you, I mean there's nothing to compare it to, but what do you think about like our technology and all that stuff?
Because I know the listeners of the podcast are. Worried about it for a lot of reasons. 'cause we've seen be the this like before and after and a lot of big changes. Yeah. That aren't so good.
[00:28:08] Maggie: I don't know, like I grew up. Watching Dora the Explorer CDs or DVDs is what they're called. Dora the Explorer DVDs from the library on my dad's old Think Pad laptop.
[00:28:22] Hunter: Yeah, I remember that. So
[00:28:23] Maggie: that was I liked that and I liked, just watching my Little Pony shows sometimes I was obsessed with my Little Pony. Yeah.
[00:28:32] Hunter: I remember you would talk my ear off about my Little Pony. I. Okay. And I'm like, refocus. It really was like a mindfulness practice to focus on the My Little Pony story because it was like my Little
[00:28:45] Maggie: Pony was important.
But I liked that, like being able to watch shows sometimes, but not like I had kids scare me. They scare me so much. Like you don't know the effects of a. Exposing your kid to that. And like I babysat these kids once and they were like, they, I couldn't really get them to do anything other than be on their iPads.
And that was like really annoying. You can't like just go outside and play. You have to be like, constantly like watching something or like playing something. I don't know.
[00:29:26] Hunter: Stay tuned for more Mindful Mama podcasts right after this break.
[00:30:03] Hunter: Wait. So are you saying you're glad that I limited your screen time as a kid? Yes, I am.
[00:30:11] Maggie: Success. I know little mute be like yelling. Know she would be. But I am glad you didn't. Because like now I can see the problem with everyone around me too. Like I've been really like into trying to reduce my screen time recently and like my social media time. Because it's just, it gives me so much anxiety and like it reduces my attention span and I don't like not being in control of what my mind is doing.
That's a thing for me that I don't wanna be like addicted to anything. Sure. Yeah. I like being in control of my mind and Instagram is addicting and I really didn't like that, so I. Took it off my phone, I blocked it and I've been trying to like, remove things from my phone.
Like I got this E Ink tablet so I can like, do notes and do planners and to-dos and everything on something that's not an iPad. Like I can literally only write and read on it.
Like
[00:31:20] Hunter: I, but you did put Instagram back on your phone though.
[00:31:23] Maggie: No, I don't have it on my
[00:31:24] Hunter: phone. You do? Oh, I just have it on my computer.
Oh, you have it on your computer? 'cause I saw you liked some things.
[00:31:29] Maggie: That's what I am saying. I like being able to see what my friends are doing. It's good to be once in a while,
[00:31:35] Hunter: but
[00:31:35] Maggie: I don't need to be able to see what my friends are doing constantly while I'm also doing other things like
[00:31:41] Hunter: I don't know. It's just distracting. What's something about yourself now, Maggie? Like your personality, your interest and or your values that you think was shaped by the way you were raised?
[00:31:53] Maggie: I think definitely how much I love reading, like it shows with Soah too. That we're both like, we are big readers like.
We would, when we were kids we competed on who could read Harry Potter more times. Not like just the first book, the entire series. I know those who could read the entire series the most times, and I. We still argue about it, but I'm pretty sure we're both, we were both tied at 11 times. Oh, and keep in mind, this is from the age of me being like from age six to 10.
Yeah, probably.
[00:32:31] Hunter: Yeah. I got a little worried when the books got dark and you were so young. I was like yeah. Maybe we should read something else and wait. I think. And I couldn't, but I couldn't keep up with you with your reading. I remember someone, I got the advice from maybe a podcast guest that was like, just read the books ahead of your kid to be aware of what content is in them.
And I'm thinking, oh my God, like I would never be able to do that. She reads so much faster than I do.
[00:32:59] Maggie: Yeah. I think just 'cause like you and Dad read so much, we wanted to and we couldn't and it made us really wanna learn to read because we were like, I wanna be able to do this on my own. And. I love that.
I love reading and I love that Sora loves reading. And I, yeah, I think that's your fault.
[00:33:25] Hunter: I'll happily take the blame for that one. That's a good one.
[00:33:28] Maggie: And probably also Montessori helped like I'm a very good student. I have. Like what, 4.3 GPA, whatever. And I don't know, I think I was in Montessori school since I was a baby from when I was a baby to middle school. Yeah. Literally a baby.
Literally a baby. And I think that's definitely helped with how I learned. Like I've noticed I'm a lot better at just like taking initiative. And like doing things and figuring things out. Than like everyone else's. I don't know. I think that would make sense. Helped with my academics a
[00:34:10] Hunter: lot.
Oh good. Yeah, that, that was so important to me. Maggie, you have no idea. I, 'cause I studied it in graduate school and I thought, oh my gosh, like I could see. The problems with forcing kids to learn certain things at certain times and the whole idea of giving kids more choice and they're learning.
'cause we all have this desire and thirst for knowledge. And then it can get killed by the system, the traditional system, if it's not done well. And so why that was incredibly. Important for me. And yeah, you always loved your teachers and you loved your classes and you brid and that made me so happy.
[00:34:54] Maggie: Yeah. And like I wanna become a scientist and I don't know that maybe that like co comes from that, like wanting to know new things and learn new things and figure things out.
[00:35:10] Hunter: Yeah. It was always like, like for the listener doesn't know, like in a Montessori classroom for the young age. You have. Like work that you could do that would be objects, they would be physical objects on a shelf that would teach you something.
They would be things like, there would be physical, tactile things, but also like math things and reading things. I still, I
[00:35:30] Maggie: visualize numbers and multiplication in little squares. Like in Montessori they teach you multiplication by with little beads that are like in. Tens or in fives and you put them together or like blocks that you stack together into lines and then into squares and like that is still how I visualize multiplying things.
If I have five times 10, I like in my head. It's five rows of 10. Oh really?
[00:36:01] Hunter: That's so amazing. 'cause I'm so visual. That makes so much sense to me. But that wasn't how I was taught math, and so I was so confounding to me and so frustrating to me. But I feel like if I had been taught it that way, I wish, it would've been.
So much easier for me, for the rest of my life. Probably. Probably. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my gosh. Oh, that's good. I'm glad Montessori has carried you through and you still do things, you and so made lemon, blueberry scones the other day, so you're still like, I remember you made blueberry muffins when you were two years old in your class, and I was like.
This is amazing.
[00:36:37] Maggie: Oh my gosh. Baking's just great anyway, because like you get to put stuff together and follow a recipe and then you get something really yummy.
[00:36:46] Hunter: Yeah, it is. It has this intrinsic reward. Okay. You are about like, you're officially an adult now, which is like crazy, right?
As you go into adulthood, is there a lesson or value from our family that you wanna carry forward into your own life?
[00:37:03] Maggie: Other than like the screen time stuff, like if I had kids, they would not be getting iPads like, and the book reading. Probably the family dinners too. Oh
[00:37:16] Hunter: yeah. Family dinners have been great.
[00:37:18] Maggie: Yeah. It's just, it's really nice to be able to like always be sure. That I'm going to get a good meal when I get home at night. Like I hear my friends talk about oh, like when I get dinner I just have to like, make something or find random snacks or heat up a frozen meal.
Like they're, they don't eat with their family and that, that's like just really weird to me. I don't know. I feel like it's just helped. With, I don't learning how to like. Eat properly and just everything like that
[00:37:59] Hunter: and connect. For me it's a important piece of being able to connect with everybody.
'cause when now so is 15 and you're 18, it's like
[00:38:08] Maggie: constantly doing things. Yeah. You're
[00:38:09] Hunter: doing all kinds of things. It is great. Like I think you should, yo, you're doing all the. Scouting venturing stuff and all these, stores doing lacrosse and you're doing working and all these different things, but we can sit down together and we have a good time, I think on family meal meals generally, don't you think?
Generally, yeah. Generally we share a rose or thorn in our bud often, and we talk and we listen to each other. And I think that is, that's really important to me. Yeah. Yeah. Huh. Then I can't think of anything else I need to ask you for the podcast. I probably should have asked the listeners if they've made questions for you.
You're so famous now from raising too. Who would've thought, who would've thought that that would happen, but
[00:38:54] Maggie: imagine I like meet someone in the future and they're like, oh, you are Maggie from So weird. That would be embarrassing.
[00:39:06] Hunter: It's interesting though 'cause yeah, you were, it just, if you were sensitive and a pretty intense little kid and that's okay.
We talked about that, like how, you're like an orchid. I'm still sensitive and intense. You're still sensitive and intense. It's not as surprising. But, it was really hard. At that time, but I feel really good about putting in the effort to change some of the things that were in our family and the habits that were in our family and my family, so that, I stopped scaring you my temper and became more, more of a steady presence to rely on and not something someone that was.
You res you hate, hated when you were a teenager. 'cause that didn't happen. That was, I was, that's what I was really worried about. I was like, I, that I would hate you when I was 18. Yeah. I really resented my dad when I was a teenager and for a long time afterwards. Yeah. And occasionally still, but I also love him very much too.
But but yeah, I didn't that, I didn't want that for us. I could see the waste of that. That was so sad and that caused so much division and that's what I didn't want. And it's like the greatest thing in my life that didn't happen. Yeah. Makes me feel really good. Okay. Any parting words of wisdom for parents who have.
Little kids now and want to have kids as awesome as you are now that when they're 18,
[00:40:44] Maggie: I don't know, support them, let them do their thing. If they wanna do something weird like d drill some holes in a board and the row of rope over a tree and make a swing. I actually did that. Let them like I think that's why I am the way that I am.
'cause my parents just let me do whatever
[00:41:09] Hunter: I wanted to try. Yeah. A lot of creative stuff went down in the house.
[00:41:15] Maggie: Yeah.
[00:41:16] Hunter: I remember the board day. So for the listener, I came home from teaching yoga some morning, and my husband was in the driveway, and he's drilling a hole in a board and Maggie and Sora were there. And I was like, “Why are you drilling a hole in a board?” And he says, “I don't know why I'm drilling a hole in board”. And Maggie knows exactly why- he's drilling a hole in board, and they have a rope and they end up making the rope swing, which is still in our yard. Yeah. Okay. I love that message, support them, let them follow these crazy ideas and be curious.
That's awesome. That's a beautiful message. Thank you for coming on the podcast, Maggie. This is so awesome. I feel really happy that you're able to do this. All right, I love you, honey.
Hey, I hope you enjoyed this episode. I would love to hear your feedback. I'm @MindfulMamaMentor on Instagram. Feel free to let me know what you think and if you know someone who of course, who could use, who might benefit from this podcast, share it or let them know. Just send a text message to somebody who could benefit from this episode.
It's funny, I feel like some kind of like puckers in my cheek 'cause it's a very personal and revealing episode. I hope you enjoyed what an amazing person my daughter is. And you could see clearly that I'm not perfect as a parent,either. And so, you know, that's all about progress, not perfection. I have to do this all the time because I wrote the book, “Raising Good Humans”, and I do the teacher training program for Mindful Parenting. And I have to remind myself that I, too have permission to be human. So anyway, it's all there now.
If you appreciated it, please let me know. It would mean enormous a lot to me and mean a lot to me. If you could share it. And tell your friends about it. So I hope this episode helped you and made you feel a little less alone and it gave you some perspective about wherever you are on your parenting journey. Thank you so much for listening. I wish you ease and peace and joy this week, and hugs and all that good stuff. And I'll be back to talk to you next week. Namaste.
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