Jill Castle is the founder of The Nourished Child®, a nutrition education website and podcast and the author of the new book, Kids Thrive at Every Size. Known for her inspiring and practical “whole-child approach” to young people’s health and well-being, Jill blends current research with common-sense advice to ensure children can thrive at every size.
516: Kids' Healthy Eating; Kids Health Series #3
Jill Castle
We want our kids to be healthy and eat well, but how do we do that? What if your child is larger or smaller than other kids?
Hunter talks to Jill Castle about the healthy middle path of both creating acceptance and a “good vibe” at mealtimes, while holding boundaries and providing structure around feeding kids.
Ep 516- Jill Castle
Read the Transcript 🡮
*This is an auto-generated transcript*
[00:00:00] Jill Castle: Those kids can just really be hurt by the comments that they receive about what they choose to eat, how much they eat their bodies. That's where I think we can collectively as a society do a little bit better in terms of how we talk and talk to children with differently sized bodies.
[00:00:25] Hunter: You are listening to the Mindful Parenting Podcast, episode number 516. Today is the third in our Kids Health series. We're talking about kids healthy eating and vibes with Jill Castle.
Welcome to the Mindful Parenting Podcast. Here, it's about becoming a less irritable, more joyful parent. In Mindful Parenting, we know that you cannot give what you do not have, and when you have calm and peace within, then you can give it to your children. I'm your host, Hunter Clarke-Fields. I help smart, thoughtful parents stay calm so they can have strong, connected relationships with their children. I've been practicing mindfulness for over 25 years. I'm the creator of the Mindful Parenting course and teacher training, and I'm the author of the international bestseller “Raising Good Humans Every Day”, and the “Raising Good Humans Guided Journal”.
[00:01:51] Hunter: Hello, and welcome back to the Mindful Parenting Podcast. Welcome again to the kids health series we're doing.
We're in the third of this series, and this is an awesome episode to dive into. And welcome, whether you're new to the podcast, whether you've been around for a while, I know you're gonna this episode because Jill is the founder of the Nourished Child nutrition education website and podcast and the author of the book, “Kids Thrive at Every Size”, and she's known for her inspiring and practical whole child approach to young people's health and being, and she blends current research with common sense advice.
We will be talking about the importance of kids being, health, and nutrition. We're going to discuss guidelines for introducing healthy eating habits to young children, the role of structure and exposure in mealtimes, and how to navigate boundaries around sweets. We'll also be touching on the impact of our, as the parents or caregivers, our own eating and body issues, how that impacts our children and the importance of fostering positive body image.
There's so much here. So I know you're going to love this episode. Before we dive in, I know that we're getting closer to the holidays. “Raising Good Humans Every Day” is my follow up book to “Raising Good Humans”. It’s the perfect bedside book with 50 short chapters. I get to go beyond Raising Good Humans to give you even more in a real bite sized manner.
It's a great book. And if you like “Raising Good Humans”, I know you'll love this. And it's a great gift book. So “Raising Good Humans Every Day”. If you don't have your copy, grab it now. Or maybe listen to this episode and then grab it. It's totally up to you. And let's do it. Join me at the table as I talk to Jill Castle.
Jill, welcome to the Mindful Parenting podcast. I'm so glad you're here. Thank you for having me. It's a pleasure to be here. The listener, you're going to hear how I love Jill's book, “Kids Thrive at Every Size”, but you're If you're interested in kids being and health and nutrition and all this, how did you get interested in this work?
[00:04:09] Jill Castle: In the field of pediatric nutrition, I think it came secondary to being interested in nutrition. And when I did my internship and my practical rotations, one of the requirements was to learn and rotate on the pediatric floors. And I just, I've always loved kids. I have four of my own. And when I was younger and learning about nutrition and working in more of a hospital clinical setting, what I realized was that, kids have the same, a lot of the conditions that adults do.
They struggle, with Diabetes, they have, heart disease, they have food allergies, they have a lot of the same sort of medical conditions that, that adults do and, but what they don't, what, but what is also going on is this growth and development. and, adults are already grown and developed.
Kids have this, they're constantly changing and they have lots of different nutritional needs and those needs evolve over time. And I found it quite challenging to help kids grow well while also helping them manage or overcome whatever conditions that they were living with or dealing with at the time.
And so for me, it was like, wow, this is an awesome challenge. I love kids. How do I get them to grow? How do I get them to love food? How do I get them to develop well in the midst of maybe dealing with, a chronic disease? And so that's what really, was what really got me into the work. And I love, I love food.
I love nutrition. I love science. And a lot of people will say, Oh, you must love to cook. I like to cook. I wouldn't say I love to cook. I have four children, so I'm very familiar with cooking in the kitchen. But I really love the science and I love digging into the science and applying it in practical ways to help families as they nourish and raise their kids.
[00:06:06] Hunter: Okay, cool. I love that. And we're going to talk about kids at different sizes and things like that, but before we get to that. That, I'm thinking about the parent of a younger kid, maybe a toddler or someone who's just starting to eat. Do you have general guidelines for helping families get set up with healthy eating to begin with?
I think there was, I remember there was so much conflicting advice when my girls are little. I remember, realizing like, oh they, you need to taste something a lot to be, to like it, and you have to, there, there has to be I don't know, there was, to get them to eat vegetables, I would, I wasn't, I realize I did get my second daughter to have green smoothies from her baby bottle with the tip cut off, but but yeah, I would give them veggies as a snack before dinner, and, but I don't know, I remember feeling okay, just, you, just taste it, just, you can spit it out if you want to, I don't know, what are some of those things that are good, hard and fast rules for the parents of little ones to, to get started well with?
[00:07:16] Jill Castle: Yeah, I think, when I think of little ones and parents who are just embarking on feeding their kids, I think structure is really helpful for all kids in all things, even with food and mealtimes and snack times. So when I talk about structure, I really mean, predictable times. And places for things like breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and snack time.
Kids do really well when they know what the routine is, and it can be predictable, they feel secure and safe. I'm a big proponent of structure with feeding, especially young kids. The other thing is exposure. You brought, you hinted to this, but exposing to kid, exposing kids to all different kinds of food.
And trying to not have preconceived ideas about whether your child will like food or not like food, but just to really be on this adventure with food. Let's just try everything, and from a parenting standpoint. standpoint, thinking about the foods that maybe you like, that you want your child to try and like as well, but also foods that maybe you don't like.
That doesn't mean your child won't like them. And even foods that maybe you've never tried before and just, embracing this adventure together with your child. I think that for really young children, it's more important that they have pleasant meals that are enjoyable with their families, where they're connecting and they're learning and they're not you know, feeling too much pressure about trying this or trying that or eating x number of bites of food.
And really, I try to encourage the families that I work with and have worked over the year with over the years to just, food and mealtimes are just Another way to connect with your child, just like reading a story at bedtime, it's a way to connect with your child. And so think about that when you're sitting down with your child.
How can this be fun? How can this be positive? How can this be light and pressure free? I think those are really good tenets to follow when you're just starting out with children. I don't think parents have to get too hung up on what they're feeding their children as much as personally, I would like to see parents get a little more hung up on, how are we connecting?
How is the vibe at the dinner table? Is it feeling good for everyone here? I think that's more important, especially with young children. I always want children to come to the table excited to be there, happy while they're there, and satisfied, both emotionally and physically, when they leave.
[00:09:44] Hunter: Yeah, I think that overall, I love that question, what's the vibe?
Yeah, I think that's such a great, because thinking about then how it plays out, down the road, At this point now my daughters are teenagers and we love getting together around the dinner table. We talk. It's a great connecting place, and it's that way because it has been that way for a while.
So structure, you talked about structure and you talk about that in the book and some like routines and boundaries and structure. I remember struggling with oh, giving my kid a snack after dinner if they didn't. eat the food that was there at the table. Maybe they didn't like it that much, but then, or I, even seeing this in other family members then seeing the child then eat just a bunch of toast after dinner or whatever.
What do you, I remember at one point we were like, okay, listen, dinner is at dinner, this is when the food is. And we had heard an adage of They decide, you decide what and when, they decide if and how much. Okay. Okay. So we decide what and when. So dinner's going to be at dinner. I know it's like a mess and it's, they're just waiting to after dinner to eat this other food.
And I thought, okay, we're not going to do that. And there was, a night. One night when my kid went to bed like hadn't eaten much of anything and was a little grumpy. And is that something that is frowned upon? Is that something that's okay? What, how do parents negotiate these, holding these boundaries that they might have?
Stay tuned for more Mindful Parenting podcasts right after this break.
[00:13:08] Jill Castle: The boundaries are, can be tough, and they can be tricky. No parent feels good about, imparting consequences to any behavior.
It doesn't feel good to make your child, quote unquote, suffer the consequences. But think that's, I think it's a parenting decision. I think for some families holding the line and saying, this is dinner. This is the time we all sit together. I've made an effort to put one or two things on this table that I know you like.
If you decide not to eat it, that's okay. That's your decision, right? And let the consequences play out. But for other families, honestly, Hunter, that won't feel good. It won't ever feel good. And that might not feel good because of past experiences those parents have had. And What I know about children is that they tend to follow the lead of their parents.
And if their parents say, we're having dinner at X, Y, Z time, we expect you to sit at the table. You don't have to eat, but we expect you to sit with us. and over a period of time that child gets a snack before bedtime to make up for not eating something at dinnertime, that's going to be a pattern. And so I think, I don't necessarily, I'm not dodging the question in that I'm just throwing it back out there to say, it's really think about the long term consequences of the choices that you're making.
So if your child gets into a pattern of eating toast every night before they go to bed because they're not eating dinner, that's not going to feel good for. Probably the whole family, right? But you have to make that decision. Parents have to make that decision. Again, I think that kids are very resilient and very willing to follow leadership, and it's, I think for parents, it's really making the decisions about what they want dinner to look like, what they want their evenings to look like.
I'm not opposed to snacks at bedtime. I think if they're part of the routine, then they're part of the routine, right? It's when they're not part of the routine and they show up because of different, behaviors at the table or different decisions at the table, and they become part of the routine.
It might not feel good to families. So it's just a matter of thinking things through, how do you want these things to play out?
[00:15:21] Hunter: Yeah. Yeah. That, I think that's a very wonderful diplomatic answer because, but yeah, it might feel good for some families and for other families, they're frustrated and they don't know how to stop it, but it's like how to hold that boundary that might be challenging.
And you have in this, in your book, which I really love, Kids Strive at Every Size you have boundaries. This is something we're going to talk to, talk about later. But, there are healthy boundaries that, we have. And I love that you have these sort of, you have skillful messages to, for parents to hold these boundaries.
You say, for instance, you have a whole chart on it and you say, the kitchen is like, It's closed now. It will be open for, snack, lunch or dinner at whatever time, right? I think that's a healthy way to hold our boundaries, and you say things like, food stays in the kitchen, let's sit down, right?
Or no phones at the table. I like how you say, don't yuck my yums.
[00:16:19] Jill Castle: Use your manners, don't yuck my yum. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think the boundaries are, those are examples of boundaries, but there's also a piece of anticipation for the child. We're having, the kitchen is closed now, but here's when you can have a snack in the future. So you're providing reassurance that In the future, yes, you can have, snacks.
You might say, no, we're not having dessert tonight because we had cupcakes at the soccer field and you had Girl Scouts and had a treat there. So tonight we're not going to have dessert, but tomorrow night we can have dessert. Let's put our heads together and see what we want that dessert to be. That reassurance, it's holding the boundary, but also reassuring the child that there'll be food at this time.
We can have sweets another time. Telling the child, the no without the explanation or without the reassurance that something's going to occur in the future doesn't work as well, in my opinion. and in my experience as saying, we're, this is a no for right now, but it's just for right now.
Later we can do that and let's figure out when that's going to be. Okay. All right.
[00:17:29] Hunter: That, I love that point of view and that would be very reassuring for kids. And I've definitely recognized that having a rhythm of expectation that kids can You know, expect we're doing this at this time and this at this time and having that rhythm is very reassuring and just settling for kids, very grounding.
And in a sense that we should have that around food too. You mentioned desserts. What do you think about sweets? And this is such a big thing, I remember thinking Please don't give my two year old a lollipop at the bank. I'd like to just I personally wanted to just avoid the intense sweets for a little while I had some sort of control over it because I knew they would love it.
And might as well just postpone that for a little while was my way of thinking. And I know, people have different feelings about that. What, how do you feel what are some recommendations for parents in approaching suites from maybe little kids to then older kids?
[00:18:28] Jill Castle: Yeah. So I agree with minimal suites in those very early years cause I imagine it can change the palette, right? It can. For what they like. Yeah, so babies are already born accustomed to sweet flavors. Amniotic fluid is sweet. If mothers breastfeed, then breast milk is sweet too. And so that palate or that taste for sweetness is already inherent when babies are born.
So I think it makes a lot of sense to, hold off as long as you can. And I think of it through this nutrient lens. We know that toddlers and young children have very high nutrient needs and tiny tummies. So there's not a lot of room in their diet for things like sweets.
That being said, I'm all about the first year birthday cake. I think that's a lovely experience for children. All of mine had it. I also recognize that as you have more children, more than one or two, Those little children are going to get exposed to sweets earlier and earlier by their older siblings.
What I would say though about sweets is that a lot of families struggle with sweets in terms of where does it, where can they show up in the day? Are they taking over my child's diet? And so I, I feel and encourage a lot of my clients to have a strategy for sweets, to really know when you want to include them, because I don't think that they should be excluded.
I know that there's plenty of research that suggests when we get too controlling around sweets or too restrictive children tend to want them more and start to compensate for not having them. without feeling pressured or feeling bad about having them. Oftentimes, children will sneak them, will hide them, will, go overboard at other things.
Friends houses or other, parties. And I don't think restriction, restricting sweets is the way to go. I do think predictable exposure to sweets is the thing that is so powerful because you can tell your child at the beginning of the week, we're having dessert on these days, you're having treats at soccer.
Game, you can actually forecast when the sweets are all happening and let your child know. Again, building in predictability, security kids get a little nervous when they don't know when they're having their sweets. They get a little nervous when they're in trouble. for having sweets.
And I think a healthy way of handling it is just being, treating it like every other food. And even though as adults, we know they're not on the same level as fruits and vegetables, right? But they're highly desirable foods and normalizing them as part of, everyday or weekly eating.
And allowing your child to have some say over what those sweets are gonna be and being curating the timing and the exposure for your child so that they feel calm and comfortable. Because if you're not having sweets on Tuesdays and your child asks for sweets, you can say, We're not having sweets on Tuesdays.
We have sweets tomorrow, Wednesday's a dessert night, so we're having dessert. What are you thinking? I'm thinking brownies. Are you thinking ice cream? Let's make that decision together.
[00:21:41] Hunter: Yeah. So that gives them that anticipation and helps them to, I could really see that, actually, because in the summer, I went to a family mindfulness retreat at the Blue Cliff Monastery.
And wonderful but it's five days of vegan Vietnamese food, which is, great. The first two days, it tastes really good. And then by like day four, I'm like, I am up to here with tofu. And I miss my sweets. I could, I really like could, as you were talking about that, I could say, yeah I was like, all right, when am I going to get my Yeah.
But some little piece of chocolate, like I'm really missed a dessert, and I could really feel myself in the shoes of a child who might feel like that. But yeah, if you can maybe anticipate it, then you're, you can relax a little bit more.
[00:22:31] Jill Castle: I think the other thing that's interesting for parents to know, there's a body of research that talks about children's approach to food, it's called Food Approach, and children, and this is a genetic thing kids are born with the inclination to be more responsive to food, and it's typically these sweets and treats that they're more responsive and excited about. But some children are just excited.
about all food, right? They enjoy eating it. They like the anticipation. They like the engagement. And on the opposite side are children who inherit this genetic trait called satiety responsiveness. And these are the children that fill up fast. They slow down their eating. They're less interested in eating.
They're more like, What's going on in the world around me? Food is, oh, I have to eat now? They're less interested in food, and they fill up quite quickly when they do eat. And a lot of times these kids look like, the satiety responsive kids look more like quote unquote picky eaters.
who, don't eat enough and are choosy about food. And on the other side, the food responsive kids, they can look like kids who are obsessed with sweets or want to eat all the time. And I think it's interesting for parents to understand that there's a, there's some good evidence that suggests these are actually genetically inherited traits.
This responsiveness, this approach to food. And so what we know for children who tend to be more interested in food, they very much benefit from having structure, having boundaries around sweets and treats, and having an ability to know when they're going to get those foods and not have any strings attached.
when they do get those foods to let those kids fully enjoy those sweets when you know they're planned into the weekly diet. So it's just a little sort of side thing when you're thinking about your child and the way they approach food and the way they think about food and the way they interact with food.
Some of it's genetic, some of it's Parenting, right? If you're restrictive into controlling with sweets, those kids tend to be a little bit more interested in them. And then also for children who might be choosier with food, they're slowing down not finishing their meals, less interested, maybe because of.
more of a genetic pre programmed part of who they are rather than them just trying to upset you and make life difficult. I love
[00:25:08] Hunter: that reframe. I think that can give parents a lot of awareness Yeah, does my child fit into one of these categories, more or less? And this kind of brings us to this idea of the sizes of our children, right?
People worry about, I remember actually when my daughter was who's now 14, when 2020 happened and she was like home during the pandemic and It was sad. It was sad for her. She did not do well in remote school. I could see her like kind of comfort eating, bagels and like carbs and stuff.
And she was 10 years old, but she was also getting a little heavier than she used to be. And I thought, okay she's 10, her body's changing and whatever. But I also was like I. I don't know if, maybe there should be some routine around this. She, I didn't want her just eating, bunches of bagels at nine o'clock at night.
That wasn't, yeah, that's not a very healthy habit in my opinion. So it was hard to challenge hard to approach in some ways. Cause I really very much didn't want to shame her or make her feel like anything was wrong at all. But I wanted to say, Hey bagels at nine o'clock, it's such a great, yeah.
How do parents, you talk about this, about, nourishing big, smaller, in between children, right? This different sizes, how can parents approach maybe this particular situation I'm talking about, but then we can extrapolate?
[00:26:34] Jill Castle: Yeah, I think when we're thinking about children of different sizes, it's important to realize that there is a genetic backbone to our size.
I'm, a certain height and a frame and we are all born with this genetic blueprint for our size. We're also born with a genetic blueprint for how much body fat we carry, how much muscle we carry, and where muscle and where body fat gets placed. So a lot of this, in fact, the research really shows it's, 40 to 50 percent of children have a genetic inclination to carry extra body fat, for example, and in some children up to 85%.
Anytime we're talking about bodies, and we're talking about eating behaviors it's a delicate subject. It really is. And if anything, I hope your listeners will hear that message that it's not taboo to talk about that, but It really can, in certain children, in many children in fact come off as you're not acceptable in the body that you're in.
Your eating behaviors are not acceptable. And a child is going to experience that as negative feedback. And we know that is what can lead to shame and feeling less than and when we're talking, it's it's going to be different for every family hunter. Some families are going to be genuinely concerned about the eating behaviors that they see in their child.
The story that you just shared, and I think it's less about talking about what the child's doing and more about. Okay, I'm noticing my child's eating bagels every night at nine o'clock. Why is this? Is she really hungry? Is this turning into a habit? Is this a coping mechanism? Is she bored? There are lots of reasons why a child might be eating extra food.
And I think for parents, the first step is really parents looking at what's going on here. Are we really off our schedule? Are we are we all eating more? Have I let the, the kitchen open all the time? And in, in the pandemic, I think a lot of parents did that. I know myself too.
My kids were in the kitchen. All four of my grown kids moved home. Oh, at one point I was like, is this kitchen ever closed? It's we have a meal, we clean it up, and then somebody's making sourdough bread. And it's the kitchen was just like, there was all this activity. And, that wasn't one child behaving.
In a way that I didn't like. It was, our whole family was doing it on some way, shape, or form. And we just needed to get back into a rhythm and a routine. And if you see your child, developing these eating behaviors that you feel aren't healthful, I would first, just as the parent, step back and say, how can I corral this a little bit better?
Is, have, has, have I not closed the kitchen after dinner? Have I not set that rule? Or has that rule been set? but now we've let the, we've laxed on enforcing or keeping, holding that boundary. But I do want to say you do need to be careful about how you approach children and the words that you use because especially if you have a child in a larger body those kids can just really be hurt by the comments that they receive about what they choose to eat, how much they eat their bodies.
And that's where we have to, I think, and I hope this book helps families quite a bit with that because that's where I think we can collectively as a society do a little bit better. In terms of how we talk and talk to children with differently sized bodies.
[00:30:20] Hunter: And you have some, ways of talking about it that that I think are very helpful.
One part in particular I liked in your book was where you talk about how to talk about satiety and the idea of You say, you can use the terms like hungry belly and happy belly, keeping it simple, what is your tummy telling you, is your tummy happy, does your belly need more? So I love that idea of inviting kids to tune into the feeling of hunger and satiety.
I think that's so important, in my own life. I realized, that was something that I think only came to me as I, I was forced to clear my plate as a kid. And, after I started practicing yoga and mindfulness, I started to really tune into, Oh, what does this feel like? And then not just finishing things because they tasted good and realizing Oh, I'm actually full right now.
That feeling of satiety. And you say, when your child is older, you can ask like, how does your body tell you it's hungry? What does it feel like? What do you feel like? What does it feel like when your tummy is getting full? Yeah and you invite in some mindfulness as well. Tell me a little bit more about that.
Stay tuned for more Mindful Parenting podcast right after this break.
[00:32:10] Jill Castle: Yeah, I think one of the best gifts we can give our children is to help them really stay connected to that internal sensation of appetite. As you said, hunger and satiety or fullness or satisfaction. In our world today with parenting, with food everywhere, kids can quite easily tune out from their internal barometer of appetite.
And one of the ways to help kids stay tuned in is just to build that language when they're really young. As you said, happy belly for full, hungry belly for hunger. And as children get older, really having conversations about what's your body telling you, or having conversations about behaviors that you're noticing as a parent that might be connected to lack of nutrition, or not eating enough, or not eating the right foods.
You're very cranky at 3. 30 when you come home from school. What did were you able to eat your lunch? Were you able to finish your lunch? And if not, connecting. Oh, I understand why you might be cu you might be cu Cranky because you didn't have enough energy for the day and now you're home and you're exhausted.
You've had a full day of school and your body needs energy. So making these connections and helping children develop that internal barometer, that internal compass so they know internally when they need to eat and then also recognizing. I don't like to say fullness because I don't really coach families or my own children to get to fullness.
I try to say, are you satisfied? Are you, do you feel good right now? Have you had enough? And this, this is something that is very beneficial to kids over time, even into the teenage years, knowing that using all the senses, the mindfulness exercise that you mentioned is this exercise I map out in the book where you take a raisin or a Hershey Kiss and you go through, I think it's nine or 10 steps of just what is it you like on your tongue?
What does it smell like? What does it feel like in your hands? Can you feel it going, melting in your mouth? Can you feel it going down your throat? Can it's just this it takes, I don't know, maybe three or four minutes at the most to go through this exercise, but it really helps kids A, note how food gets from mouth into stomach, but all the sensations, all the sensory experiences of eating.
And yeah, that's also important because so many of us are just, we eat fast, we're not pacing ourselves with eating, we're plowing through a meal in five minutes, and are we even tasting the food, right? Do we even know if our body needs more or is happy? And these kinds, these simple exercises, these simple conversations can really help kids be internally aware, and it is such a gift later on.
It can tie into what I say to my kids now who are in their 20s, what's your gut tell you about this? I turn everything back on them. I don't need to make decisions for you anymore. What is your gut? What do you have? What are you, what do you have access to help you make this decision?
What do you know about yourself in this situation? What does your gut tell you? That's what we want. This, these whole two, 18 years or two decades of life that we are really parenting when we're doing it around food at the end of the day, we want our kids to be able to know what they need, how to access it in terms of food, how to prepare it.
and how to feel good about what they've eaten and how to nourish their bodies in ways that is really beneficial to them.
[00:35:54] Hunter: Yeah. I love this. And I love the way you approach it. You also you include all, eight pillars of wellness and talk, all the different things, including sleep, etc.,
all kinds of different pieces in this. So looking at the whole child in a wonderful way, and I encourage you, dear listener to really check out Kids Thrive at Every Size for to dive into all of this. But I wanted to also touch on before we run out of time here one of the things, of course, that But we talk about in mindful parenting and raising good humans is how our own challenges, our own triggers, and our own things from our own childhood can really impact our parenting and how we react to different things in our family.
And I imagine that is very much true for eating. And I was wondering about how parents own eating and body issues can affect the way their children eat and maybe what parents can do to mitigate that.
[00:36:53] Jill Castle: Yeah, that's a great question. And I think, if you have parents who are listeners who are out there raising children with a larger body, there can be a lot of fear that goes with that, a lot of worry around the health of their child.
But not only that, The emotional well being of their children because our society has there's a lot of stigma and bias around people in larger bodies and sometimes in smaller bodies too. And so having a greater sensitivity of the potential challenges a child might be experiencing.
And if you as a parent. have had experiences as a child around, negative experiences around your body be it your size or your eating behaviors raising your own child who might be struggling with those same concerns can really trigger parents and make this issue more, bigger and Harder.
[00:37:53] Hunter: Yeah, and probably mess up the vibe at the dinner table going back to what you said at the beginning, right? There's a lot of stress and tension maybe possibly around it.
[00:38:01] Jill Castle: Yeah, exactly. A lot of stress and tension. And so that's what the book is really about. It's not only about, how do you raise healthy kids, but I do talk a lot about, parental triggers if you've, had extra weight as a child or grew up as a larger child.
You're going to have, most likely, a little bit more stress and tension around raising a child who might be in a larger body. On the other side, if you had experiences with an eating disorder and your child is smaller, that can trigger fear and concern as well. We want a parent out of power, powerfulness and we want parents to be empowered.
We don't want a parent out of fear because I think sometimes that can make us do things or encourage us to do things that can be counterproductive. And so in the book, I really do try to help parents of Children of all sizes grow, help raise them so that they have the habits that will not only help them be as physically healthy as they can be, because health really doesn't have a size, right?
You can be healthy in any size body especially in children who are growing and developing and changing quite a bit over time. . I've done other interviews where people are like, this is way more than a nutrition book. I thought you were just going to talk about food and nutrition.
But yeah, food and nutrition is part of it. But it's all, the whole child is like everything, as you said, from sleep to screens to helping children. Build self love, especially in a society that, is full of social media that's telling you have to look a certain way, you have to eat a certain way, and if you don't match, you're not good enough.
And parents really are up against a lot. in terms of raising kids who not only are healthy, but who also feel good about themselves. And that's what this book is trying to help parents with, is, raising, obviously, children who are physically healthy, but also taking care of their emotional well being along the way.
[00:40:00] Hunter: And so for parents who have things like that, I imagine there, you might encourage them to acknowledge these challenges. Yes. Have outlets, journaling, therapists, friends, et cetera, to Yes. Talk and heal about it. Do you is there like an age or a time when you recommend that parents open up about some challenges they may have with their kids? Or is that something that you encourage parents to keep privately?
[00:40:29] Jill Castle: I don't, the book is geared towards children between 3 and 13 years. I think in the adolescent years, that could possibly be a conversation, with your children. Again, so much of it depends on the relationship you have with your child, and how it sounds.
It's how it's shared and but family, families are really very powerful and parents are very powerful in helping their children grow up healthy and happy and the unity of a family and the cohesion and the communication is really what children of all sizes needs, right? But especially those children who are growing up in our society with larger or smaller bodies.
And yes, I think, I have talked with my kids about my struggles as a child, how I was raised, how I was parented around the table, and why I've made different choices as a parent myself. I think that's a very relevant conversation. with children who can process and handle it.
Yeah. And so to me, that's, to me, that's the older child, the middle school child- but again, that can depend on the maturity of the child as well.
[00:41:38] Hunter: Yeah. Like I said, I really appreciate your book and how you encourage this balanced path rather than one extreme or the other. You're not saying let go of all the, just trust your child, let go of any.
Let them eat all and you're not like encouraging restriction. It's just, you have a wonderful, very balanced middle path. I'm always looking for the middle path. I was saying, anyone who's listened to this podcast knows, and it can be hard because then, it's like, It's easier at the extremes, but to really look at the complexities and the black and white and the grays and all the different areas and the way it, your book, way it fills into all these other areas of our lives.
So I want to say I appreciate it enormously and thank you so much for writing such a helpful book. Thank you. Thank you so much. So it's Kids Thrive at Every Size. Jill Castle, where can people find you? Find out more about you and do you have any final, things you might want to say to the listener?
[00:42:40] Jill Castle: Yeah, thank you. I have a website- JillCastle.com. That's where all of my business-y things are. I do work with families privately and I do some speaking and consulting. So all that information is there, but I have a second website that has free articles and a podcast and that's called thenourishedchild.com. So you can find me over in those places and social media, I'm on Instagram @i.am.pedird. So I am there. Not as much as maybe some other people, but I am there. And what would I love to say to parents? I just, I think when I wanted to write this book, I was very uncomfortable with where I was seeing the world going in terms of. Either a focus on solely physical health or solely on emotional well being. And I took on the challenge to figure out a path that would be more reasonable for families and beneficial for children and celebrate. Celebrate children of all sizes because, it's what's on the inside that's the most important thing.
And I want all children to be healthy, but I really want all children to feel good about themselves. And I recognize, and you probably also, Hunter, recognize it gets, it's getting harder and harder for kids to grow up feeling good about who they are and the skin that they're in. And they need their parents and their caretakers and their extended family and their peers and their friends and their teachers and their doctors to all just, help support them in ways that are non stigmatizing, that emphasize their character and their inner qualities and spend less time emphasizing what they look like.
[00:44:25] Hunter: Yes. Amen. Amen. I love it. Thank you so much for coming on the Mindful Parenting Podcast. I really appreciate you sharing your time with us.
I hope you enjoyed this episode. If you're looking for other episodes in the Mindful Parenting podcast that are on similar themes, I have to recommend Episode 209 with Liz Weiss “Healthy Family Eating (How To)”, and Episode 165 with Eliza Kingsford, “Kids’ Healthy Eating and Body Image”. Builds on these themes that we had here, so check it out.
And I know this is such an important topic, we're talking about it, so please text a friend about this episode today, take a screenshot, send it to them if you got something out of it. Text one friend about it and that does such a great help to share the podcast around. And this, as I said, is part of the kids health series this month. We started out with “Outdoor Adventures for Happier Kids” with Drs. Pooja Tandon and Danette Glassy, episode 514, and then 515 is “Western AND Holistic Health for Your Child” with Dr. Joel ‘Gator’ Warsh, and be sure to tune in for next week. We're going to talk about what to do about phones with Joey Odom, and that'll be the last one in our kids health series this month.
I can speak today, guys. I got this. I can do it. I can speak. Anywho, I hope that you're having a great week. I hope this has helped you in your life, helped you maybe create some good vibes tonight. I'm gonna be working on creating some good vibes in our house. It's been a little up and down in the Clarke-Fields household today. Dinner is our anchor. Which is good, but we've had some intense moments recently, and I think I'll be curating the vibes on the radio. I'm planning on making a frittata, I think, tonight with some roasted sweet potatoes in it. That's one of the things. Yeah anyway, I hope you have a great dinner tonight. And, every night, forever and ever, and on, forever in the future, and me too. And thank you so much for listening I can't wait to come back, talk to you again next week. Namaste.
[00:47:07] Mindful Mama Member: I'd say definitely do it. It's really helpful. It will change your relationship with your kids for the better. It will help you communicate better. And just, I'd say communicate better as a person, as a wife, as a spouse. It's been really a positive influence in our lives, so definitely do it. I'd say definitely do it. It's so worth it. The money really is inconsequential when you get so much benefit from being a better parent to your children and feeling like you're connecting more with them and not feeling like you're yelling all the time or you're like, why isn't this working? I would say definitely do it. It's so worth it. It'll change you. No matter what age someone's child is, it's a great opportunity for personal growth and it's a great investment in someone's life. You can continue in your old habits that aren't working, or you can learn some new tools and gain some perspective to shift everything in your parenting.
[00:48:10] Hunter: Are you frustrated by parenting? Do you listen to the experts and try all the tips and strategies, but you're just not seeing the results that you want? Or are you lost as to where to start? Does it all seem so overwhelming with too much to learn? Are you yearning for community people who get it, who also don't want to threaten and punish to create cooperation?
Hi, I'm Hunter Clarke-Fields, and if you answered yes to any of these questions, I want you to seriously consider the Mindful Parenting membership. You will be joining hundreds of members who have discovered the path of mindful parenting and now have confidence and clarity in their parenting. This isn't just another parenting class. This is an opportunity to really discover your unique, lasting relationship, not only with your children, but with yourself. It will translate into lasting, connected relationships, not only with your children, but your partner too. Let me change your life. Go to MindfulParentingCourse.com to add your name to the wait list so you will be the first to be notified when I open the membership for enrollment. I look forward to seeing you on the inside. MindfulParentingCourse.com
Support the Podcast
- Leave a review on Apple Podcasts: your kind feedback tells Apple Podcasts that this is a show worth sharing.
- Share an episode on social media: be sure to tag me so I can share it (@mindfulmamamentor).
- Join the Membership: Support the show while learning mindful parenting and enjoying live monthly group coaching and ongoing community discussion and support.
