Last Friday I sunk low.


First, let me rewind. I do many practices to keep mentally and physically healthy.  I know how important it is, how much it has changed my life for the better.

My inherited temperament is one of intensity and sensitivity. Like my father and my daughter, when I’m up, I’m UP – enthusiastic and ready to take on the world, but when I’m down, I can go very low.

The miracle of meditation for me has been to smooth out the lows so that they usa sildenafil are not so frequent or so deep.{Tweet it!}

Last Friday, however, found me curled up in a sobbing ball in my studio (just outside my house), unable to take anymore of the kids’ screaming and crying inside.

I questioned the purpose of all of this pain and tension.

I questioned whether I should have, because of my temperament, had children at all.

I know that I’m not the first parent to have this thought, but it left a pain in my heart that resonated most of the day. I tried to take care of myself. I went to the YMCA, but when I got on my yoga mat, the tears started flowing again, as they would throughout the day.

The thing is that I know from experience what makes me feel better.

So I went through the motions of self care – running a bit on the treadmill, yoga attempt #2, a hot shower.. and it did help me feel a little better.  I talked to a friend, and I found time to read a book in bed.

While I was in the midst of my low that day, I felt that somehow this sort of sadness shouldn’t happen to me.

I eat well, meditate daily, and practice yoga after all!

But later I realized that this intense day took me by surprise because I hadn’t had such a sad day in years.

My practice had been working.

I don’t know if there is a moral to this story – except that, yes, meditation does help to smooth out some of life’s bumps, but also that we are still human beings after all.

Thanks for reading. Have you been through a similar struggle? As always, the discussion can begin below.

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Be well,