
Finding Your Calm: 3 Simple Steps to Parental Equilibrium
“Be patient with yourself. Self-growth is tender; it’s holy ground. There’s no greater investment.” — Stephen Covey
When I first stepped into the world of mindful parenting, I thought it would be all about my kids—what they needed, how they behaved, what they felt. But wow, was I in for a surprise. It turns out, the real work is the inner work.
We can’t teach emotional regulation if we’re constantly spun out ourselves. We can’t offer presence when we’re buried under layers of unresolved tension. And in a world that throws curveballs daily—from financial stress to family pressure to the sheer exhaustion of modern life—it’s no wonder so many of us are operating in survival mode.
If we want any chance of showing up with calm and compassion, we need to start with us. That’s why today, I want to talk about regaining equilibrium through self-soothing.What is Self-Soothing, Really?
Most of us are pretty good at soothing others—especially if we’re parents. But what about ourselves? When life comes at us fast and hard, or our nervous system is triggered, how do we come back to center?
This is where mindfulness can be a game changer. It helps us notice when we’re carrying stress—sometimes without even realizing it. That shoulder tension, the shallow breath, the mental fog... all signals from your body saying: “Hey, I need some care here.”
Soothing your nervous system isn’t a luxury. It’s a foundation for your well-being—and your parenting.

The Power of Healthy Self-Soothing
Let’s be honest. Most of us weren’t taught how to soothe ourselves in healthy ways. We learned to push through, numb out, or reach for a glass of wine or a pint of ice cream. I still remember my mom turning to gummy worms during tough days, and me binging cookie dough in college to try to feel better. It’s what was modeled for us.
But here’s the good news: You don’t have to stay stuck in those patterns. You can crowd out the unhelpful habits by filling your toolbox with simple, supportive practices.

Your Self-Soothing Toolkit
Below is a list of 15 self-soothing practices I love to share. These are easy, accessible ways to bring yourself back into balance. I invite you to take a few minutes and highlight the ones that resonate with you. Then—this part is important—write down five of them on sticky notes and place them around your home: bathroom mirror, kitchen cabinet, inside your journal. Let them gently remind you: you have permission to care for yourself.
15 Self-Soothing Practices:
- Sip a cup of hot tea
- Listen to nature or bird sounds
- Read a novel just for fun
- Take a hot shower or relaxing bath
- Walk outside—bonus if it’s in nature
- Stretch or do gentle yoga
- Diffuse calming essential oils or light a candle
- Give yourself a massage or ask for one
- Listen to affirmations
- Watch something funny
- Practice deep breathing (try an inhale for 4, exhale for 6 breath)
- Write in your journal
- Solo or partnered self-pleasure
- Put on a soothing playlist
- Dance it out or move your body

YOU HAVE PERMISSION
Let’s be clear: taking time to soothe yourself is not selfish. It’s not indulgent. It’s not weak. It’s actually one of the most generous things you can do—for yourself and for your family.
Because when our kids see us tending to our needs with love and compassion, they learn to do the same. When we model nervous system regulation, they pick up on it. You don’t even need to teach it with words—your calm becomes contagious.
So let me say it again: You have permission to soothe yourself. You have permission to take care of your inner world. Because when you do, you become more grounded, more present, and more available for the people you love.YOUR GENTLE CALL TO ACTION
Take one small step today:
Write down five of the self-soothing practices from this list on sticky notes.
Place them somewhere you’ll see them.
And then—try one. Just one. Even five minutes can make a difference.
You deserve that peace. And so does your family.
Want more mindful parenting support and real tools to help you grow as both a parent and a person? Visit the LEARN tab of mindfulmamamentor.com to learn how you can take this work deeper—for yourself and others.