ABC Parenting is a comedy web series that's like The Onion but for parents. At ABC, we put the FUN in PARENTING!
534: Bring Humor Into Your Parenting
Arthur Meyer & Stephanie Drake
We need to laugh at parenting! Hunter Clarke-Fields talks with Arthur Meyer and Stephanie Drake, creators of ABC Parenting, to explore how humor serves as a coping mechanism for the stresses of parenting. Hear personal anecdotes and insights on finding joy and laughter in everyday parenting situations.
Ep 534- Meyer and Drake
Read the Transcript 🡮
*This is an auto-generated transcript*
[00:00:00] Arthur Meyer: “Whatever you do, don't eat the cauliflower. No cauliflower.” And then he looks at us mischievously and he holds the cauliflower to his mouth. And we're like “no!” And then he puts it in his mouth.
[00:00:14] Hunter: You are listening to The Mindful Mama Podcast, episode number 534. Today we're talking about bringing humor into your parenting with Arthur Meyer and Stephanie Drake.
Welcome to the Mindful Mama Podcast. Here it's about becoming a less irritable, more joyful parent. At Mindful Mama, we know that you cannot give what you do not have, and when you have calm and peace within, then you can give it to your children. I'm your host, Hunter Clarke-Fields. I help smart, thoughtful parents stay calm so they can have strong, connected relationships with their children. I've been practicing mindfulness for over 25 years. I'm the creator of the Mindful Parenting Course and Teacher Training, and I'm the author of the International Bestseller, raising “Good Humans Every Day”, and The “Raising Good Humans Guided Journal”.
Hello, I am so glad you're here. Welcome to The Mindful Moment Podcast. Welcome back if you have been here for a while. A big welcome if you are new. This is such a cool and fun episode to be part of. Today we're talking to Arthur Meyer and Stephanie Drake their actors and comedians and writers who have written on the Tonight Show, Mad Men and lots of other shows. We're gonna be talking about ABC Parenting, a comedy web series that's like the Onion, but for parents. So it's really fun. We talk about how we need to bring humor into our parenting for us as a coping mechanism for stresses of parenting and how to do it with our kids as well. You're gonna hear some really lovely personal anecdotes and insights about finding joy and laughter in the everyday situations of parenting.
Before we dive in, I wanna remind you that you can bring me to your workplace or school as a speaker. In the last few years, I've done talks all around the world for groups. We've had so much fun. I'm known for offering evidence-based learning that in a way that's really clear, it's realistic, it's humorous, it's immediately helpful. So go to MindfulMamaMentor.com/Speaking to book your dates. And now join me at the table as I talk to Arthur Meyer and Stephanie Drake.
Did you know that over a third of listeners, just like you are working full-time? If you are in an office, we have something that can make life a whole lot easier, both at work and at home. We're bringing the Raising Good Humans course, Mindful Parenting to workplaces. This powerful program helps parents lower stress, disarm triggers, and improve communication so they can navigate challenges with more ease. We are offering a special mindfulness for stress reduction module, giving parents tools to manage stress, reduce reactivity, and strengthen relationships, all while increasing overall wellbeing. Want to bring this to your workplace? Let's talk! Email support@mindfulmamamentor.com to learn more.
Arthur and Stephanie, thank you so much for coming on the Mindful Parenting Podcast.
[00:03:21] Arthur Meyer: Thank you for having us.
[00:03:22] Hunter: Happy to be here. I'm glad you're here. And I was really, I was, before we talked, I was like watching the the what to do. If you're how to fart your baby that you have, which is pretty great.
'cause it's it's so true. You're not burping your baby. You can be farting your baby. That's a better way of thinking about it sometimes,
[00:03:42] Arthur Meyer: it's something you don't hear from other parenting channels. We are the only one that will cover that topic.
[00:03:48] Hunter: How should fart your baby?
[00:03:49] Arthur Meyer: How to fart your baby?
[00:03:51] Hunter: I wanna get back to that, but I'm excited to talk about this conversation is part of a series on stress and I think this is so important. One of the biggest ways that we can combat stress and parenting is humor. But I think sometimes we go to like pretty dark humor sometimes as parents.
So we're gonna just that dark coping humor. But before we dive into that, I'm just curious about you guys like. What was your childhood like and how were you raised and was humor a part of, what drew you to writing for humor?
[00:04:24] Arthur Meyer: Okay. Yeah. I'll take, I'll go first. Yeah, that's a really good question.
I. Let me see. I had a pretty positive upbringing, I would say. And I'm trying to think. I feel, I feel like my sense of humor was maybe if I were to psychoanalyze it a little bit, maybe came from a mix of my mom's. I. Politeness or perhaps somewhat, people pleasing nature.
Although my mom's not so much a people pleaser, she just doesn't want to get in anyone's way or step on their toes. But I think I took that and ran with the people pleasing part of it. And then just my dad's bluntness and his inability to be anything except himself which I think kinda lends itself to humor.
I'll give you an example. He used to come see my little league baseball games. He would come watch the games. He had no interest in watching children play baseball. So he would sit 50 yards away under a giant oak tree reading a book about the Civil War.
[00:05:18] Hunter: That sounds exact. If my, if I had played baseball, that's what my dad would've been doing.
Is he a curmudgeon now? Is he a bit of a curmudgeon now?
[00:05:25] Arthur Meyer: Yeah, he's always been a little bit of a Larry David throughout his entire life. I never held that against him. It's a great lesson. You could learn from someone. It's just to, you just be yourself, there's, yeah, it's, I actually really value it, there's something. But I think that and also from a early age, I was obsessed with the show Saturday Live. So when I was 11 years old, I don't know if I've ever told you this, Stephanie, but my sisters and I forced them to start a weekly sketch comedy show that we would perform in.
Our living room in front of my parents called Meyer Kids Night, and we would do it live every Saturday night at 8:31 PM 'cause I thought that was funnier than 8:30 PM And so my dad would have to, sit through these half hour shows. He would've rather been doing anything else. My mom liked them though, so it was very fun and funny to perform in front of two people, one of whom had no interest in being there.
[00:06:19] Hunter: That's good that like at least you're trying to be funny. Sometimes, like the, this the performances that I've sat through for my kids are often more they're just, they're not dramatic or they're not funny. They're somewhere in between and they're just like epic, they just keep going on and on 'cause they're improving on the spot.
So it's just okay. They just
[00:06:38] Arthur Meyer: make it up. They don't write out scripts or write cue cards like I did.
[00:06:42] Hunter: No scripts or cue cards? No. Okay.
[00:06:45] Stephanie Drake: It's funny, Arthur, we did a similar thing in my family. Yeah. But my parents were very, but my parents were involved. We did live from Augusta. It's Monday morning, we were living in Augusta, Georgia at the time,
Uhhuh.
[00:07:01] Stephanie Drake: And we would write sketches and. We'd videotape them so we have them forever.
[00:07:11] Arthur Meyer: Why have you never sent? I can't believe you've never sent me any of these. I need to see one of those.
[00:07:17] Stephanie Drake: Yeah, we do, we did convert them onto DVD, so they're somewhere, I think they're at my parents' house. But yeah, I had a, I had a wonderful childhood.
My dad is a very funny man and I attribute my humor mostly to, I moved around a lot when I was growing up for my dad's job, and I always was having to make new friends. I did that by trying to be the funny person in class does didn't always work, but I, I made some friends and I think it allowed me to create my humorous personality.
You're forced to
[00:08:00] Hunter: find a way to fit in.
And so you guys have, I know that you have written for things like the Onion, right? Or Mad Men. Yeah. Tonight Show all kinds of major things. I could be asking you about all of those things, but, 'cause there's so much there, I'm very curious.
I loved Mad Men. I was
[00:08:18] Arthur Meyer: you're more than welcome to we don't have to limit it to parenting, but I don't know if that would put off your audience.
[00:08:23] Hunter: I think it's I, maybe we'll get back to Mad Men at the end, but I'm curious, so now you guys have kids, you create, how did you decide to create a b, c parenting and just tell, maybe we can maybe we can put a clip in here that you sent me of some things of that you have in there, but maybe you could just describe what it is for people and tell me how you descr decided to create it.
[00:08:44] Arthur Meyer: Yeah, so a BC Parenting is a comedy, digital series. It's like a web series that we post on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube.
And it's basically a satirical, it's a parody of parenting advice channels. So there are so many parenting advice channels on the internet, and that's how I came up with the idea was my wife was pregnant and. We were a few months in and I started to freak out and I'm like, I need to look up how to be a dad.
So you, if you just type that into YouTube, you'll find so many videos all of which had really good practical advice. And I was like, oh, you know what? There's one thing missing from this. None of it is bad advice, and I can come up with bad advice and deliver it confidently. With a co-host. So I took it upon myself to write 50 episodes 'cause I wanted it to feel like a real parenting channel.
And a friend of mine was going to play my co-host, but she actually got pregnant and was, not feeling great that first trimester thing. So I was scrambling to find a replacement. And about a year earlier, like shortly after my wife gave birth, the only thing that we did, aside from taking care of the baby was watch Mad Men.
We had never seen the show of Mad Men and and. I really that, it's a, an incredible show. I'll be the first to say it. No, I'm just kidding. It's it's like the most popular, the most loved show of all time. Stephanie is in it and she is in a bunch of episodes. Oh yeah.
[00:10:10] Stephanie Drake: That's why you're so familiar.
Oh my God, I'm just looking at your face. And I'm like, did you write for math? And I was like, I Yeah, definitely didn't, so familiar. Okay.
[00:10:18] Hunter: Sorry.
[00:10:18] Arthur Meyer: No. Yeah, no. Stephanie played Don Draper's secretary Meredith. In the later seasons of the show.
[00:10:24] Hunter: It's been a while since I watched, so I apologize. It's time for a rewatch.
[00:10:30] Arthur Meyer: Yeah. Also, you have, what was your hair? What, how, what was your hairstyle on that, Stephanie? What was the hair do is it,
[00:10:36] Stephanie Drake: I. It was just big and high. Yeah. And very poofy.
[00:10:40] Arthur Meyer: Okay. So I was watching that and Stephanie is so funny in every scene that I just reached out, I like, did a little Instagram snooping and was like, who is this person?
Is she on Instagram? I messaged her, I was you're so funny. On the show. She saw that I was a dad and a new dad and she wrote a really nice, thing to me about that. And anyway, then yeah, jump ahead a year. And I've written all these episodes and my friend has dropped out of the co-hosting thing and I just asked Stephanie, I'm like, is there any world where you would want to come out to New York and we shoot 50 of these episodes in four days?
And she was like, sure. So like we didn't really know each other. The first time we ever met in person was, the day before we, we started shooting the series when I picked her up from the airport.
[00:11:25] Hunter: Wow. That's impressive. That you were like, I trust this guy and I have to just fly out to New York for those.
That's good, right?
[00:11:33] Stephanie Drake: Yeah. I made sure that I read, he sent me a couple of the episodes. And I thought they were so funny. I remember you had sent me the episode about baby proofing your house.
And we had just done that and I was like, oh my God, this is so funny. And then we met on Zoom so we could chat a little bit.
And I was like, my son, I think he was almost two at that age. And you know those first. Couple of years are really hard and I was home with him. My husband was working, but I was also acting and auditioning and doing all the things that I love to do. But I jumped at the opportunity to get away from things and go work for a week.
And it was only, I think the second time I'd been away from my son. In two years. So I was happy to do it and thrilled that Arthur asked me to be a part of it. And it's a complete blur. Every episode, a new episode comes out every Thursday and it as if I'm watching it for the first time. We shot so many episodes and so little time.
I don't remember any of them.
[00:12:52] Arthur Meyer: Yeah, we shot we shot these 50 episodes about, we shot 'em last May, so May of 2023. And then because there's so many of them, it takes a while to edit them. So we didn't start releasing them until the beginning of this year. So yeah. Now Stephanie watches them. It is. They're totally new to her.
[00:13:11] Hunter: Stay tuned for More Mindful Mama podcast right after this break.
[00:15:23] Arthur Meyer: Yes it is to the best way to baby proof your home is to dress up like your baby so you understand your home from your baby's perspective. So basically crawl around, lick your finger and touch an electrical outlet, eat a leaf from a plant.
You basically have to become your baby, and that way you could see. What sort of, what you're susceptible to,
[00:15:44] Hunter: that's amazing because that's so funny because every parent person in parenting has given the advice of get in the perspective of your kid.
I've definitely, yes. In the mindful parent, like I get. I have given the advice of get to, think about your baby, your child's height and put a a hook so they can hang up their coat at your, at a child's level so they can be more independent. These kind of things. And that's completely something that Yes, I love that.
[00:16:09] Stephanie Drake: But Arthur left out that you also have to dress up like they need. Oh yeah.
[00:16:14] Arthur Meyer: Oh yes. That is probably the key thing I should have said. So if you watch that episode, you will see me. Dressed up fully like a baby, which I think we, we probably shot that just in the middle of the day in my apartment.
And it's just I'm a father and this is, I'm just debasing myself like this. But then you watch the video, you la later you're like, oh, okay, this is this is fine. But yeah, that, that's what we do for a lot of the episodes is we take real. Parenting topics that exist things like breastfeeding or potty training.
Or we'll also and we basically just do our spin on them. So we'll height or exaggerate. A traditional piece of baby advice, baby parenting advice that people get. But then we also have songs for certain episodes and we try to model that a little bit off of miss Rachel, those types of shows.
Oh, when they come up with their own music? Yeah. Yeah. Those songs where if you play them. Or your child will demand to play them enough that you start to feel like you are being tortured.
[00:17:09] Hunter: Yeah. I remember the intensive search for kids' music that I could swallow. I could handle.
It was like no, we can't be doing any more of this. Yeah. This kids' chorus or whatever it was that, it was like, drive me crazy. Dear listener, you can see why I brought Arthur and Stephanie on. The parenting is so incredibly hard. We need a stress relief, we need an escape belt. We need to be like making fun of it sometimes, because we are at least this generation of parents, and the way we are in the United States these days, we're so intensive about it.
We wanna get it right. It's so important. And it is, it's so important and. That's ridiculous. There's so much stuff that's so ridiculous and we need to acknowledge these things. It's, so I think sometimes when I think of parenting humor, like it, I think like in my own family, like it does get a little dark.
Like when we've been in tough times and we're like trying to make fun of it and just make it through that tough time. Like it can get a little dark and then we feel guilty. But like this, I think ABC Parenting is like is just, you're not dark, you're just stress relief, which is helpful.
[00:18:17] Arthur Meyer: Yes. Yeah. I should say though as a parent of a two and a half year old, there are plenty of dark thoughts. I just don't, I just don't put them into ABC Parenting.
[00:18:27] Hunter: Yeah. So do you're a parent of a two year, two and a half year old Arthur, Stephanie. You have a 3-year-old, you said?
You guys are like in the thick of the like very intensive, very, very intensive time. How are you using parent? Are you using humor in your own parenting life to cope with everything that's happening? Or is this only is the the web show your escape valve? I certainly try
[00:18:52] Stephanie Drake: to, it's not always easy but I find that things, the day goes by.
Faster, better if we. Try to use humor in those tough situations. Yes, three-year-olds are very opinionated. My son has an opinion and likes to say no to everything. The other day he actually told me that I'm saying no to him too much. So that was fun to hear.
So I took that and yeah, it's almost like you just have to switch in your brain. It takes two seconds, but instead of reacting and saying, no, you react and try and make light of it. It's not easy all the time, especially at the end of the day when all you want is for him to put his pajamas on and go to bed.
But yeah, I think humor is ultimately. At least with my child and the best way to get him to do anything that we want to get him to do. Like we notice his personality. He really thrives when we make things like fun and exciting and almost like games. So when we potty trained him, we made it the most exciting thing he is ever gonna do in his whole life.
And it was the easiest thing. Oh wow.
[00:20:24] Hunter: How did you make it that exciting?
[00:20:26] Stephanie Drake: We just we were like his hype people. We spent a good two weeks we did that three day thing and where you stay home and you just potty train and we hyped it up for two weeks before, like every day we're gonna potty train in two weeks, we're gonna potty train in 10 days.
And he was, by the time it came around, he was. So excited. And he's also very easily motivated by food. So that helps. We used m and ms and it was very easy. But yeah, and like we're also ramping up right now to transition him into a big kid bed. He doesn't seem as excited about it, but we'll get there.
[00:21:10] Hunter: Yeah.
[00:21:11] Stephanie Drake: Okay. All
[00:21:11] Hunter: right. Yeah. How about you, Arthur?
[00:21:13] Arthur Meyer: Yeah, it's I love that, by the way. I hope that he, I hope that your son is still just as excited about being in pooping when he's an adult, too. I hope that your level of excitement will translate to him being like 45 and just oh my God, I just poofed.
Me too. Yeah, I think humor just humor is basically is just a form of connection. So I think you're just, it's a way of just having, it doesn't necessarily mean being funny per se. I think that can be a little bit of a point of confusion for people. I think it's just like I.
It's honestly just playfulness and having fun. For example, my son Theo, really, he's very outgoing. He's our only kid. And so he will often talk to, he loves because he loves talking. He will talk to his stuffed animals a lot, but sometimes he prefers to talk to a person. So I'll just make up little characters. There's one I do called Grandpa, and grandpa, he sounds like this. He's always pretty happy. He's someone that, can come talk to you about anything. That's the difference is grandpa will never I'll never scold Theo or whatever the, a better word for skull is, but like on that, grandpa's always positive.
So Theo knows that he could always talk to grandpa, for any sort of, just any sort of positive spin on something.
[00:22:24] Hunter: Does he ask to talk to grandpa?
[00:22:26] Arthur Meyer: Yeah. Sometimes he'll ask to talk to grandpa or occasionally he'll want grandpa to put him to sleep at night. Aw. Another fun thing that we've done, and this sort of speaks to Stephanie's point of trying to get your kid to do what you the parent want is for eating vegetables we try to we do this thing that he's responded to really well, where he'll we'll be like, whatever you do.
Don't eat the cauliflower. Okay. No cauliflower. And then he looks at us mischievously and he holds the cauliflower to his mouth. And we're like no. And then he puts it in his mouth and we go, no. And then he chews and swallows it and we are just like, slow motion. And he loves that. And he then eats the vegetables.
So it like works for both and Yeah. I think he actually likes them too, but it's just a little playful, a thing like that. Or like another example is he's been really recently, he's been a little bit scared of monsters, so I just started coming up with a little. A little monster for everything.
So there's his nose monster, there's his chin monster, there's his blanket monster. It's neutralizing the or diffusing the power of monsters by just, there are little monsters everywhere. Everything's a monster, and suddenly, monsters don't become so scary because. They're all around him, and then we take out yo, oh, here's Cookie monster doll.
That's a monster too. Like monsters are fun, so like putting a positive spin on monsters, using humor to, to do that and make him more comfortable,
[00:23:51] Hunter: it's like a page out of Sesame Street. I guess that's what they were trying to do was like make monsters more comfortable, right? Was that's what they were trying to do.
And that
[00:23:59] Arthur Meyer: must've been it. It's a pretty brilliant move.
[00:24:01] Hunter: Yeah. It makes a lot of sense. And that's great like that. This. That's I've written about that and like raising good humans, act as a silly character. And then actually the reverse psychology thing is, can be really helpful. Or be like a bumbling person.
Like you don't have any skills can be really helpful. Oh yes. If you're like, you are so tired of being wherever you are, like say you're in the park or whatever, you to leave and you like. How do we get outta the park? What do we do? Do we go here and you like bump into something? I don't know.
Oh my goodness. How do we get outta the park? And then your kid's oh my God you are so silly. Come on. This is how you do it. And then they get that sense of like autonomy and that sense of I am doing, I'm helping and I'm leading. But
[00:24:46] Arthur Meyer: it's so true. Yeah. It's we just, yeah, we recently just started having theo use these little floss to floss his teeth.
These, those little like floss things?
[00:24:55] Hunter: The pick flossers?
[00:24:56] Arthur Meyer: Yeah. Like the pick flossers and but usually my wife is the one who's been doing I'll be washing the dishes while she's, giving him a bath and brushing his teeth and stuff. But the other night I had to do that but I didn't know where the flossers were, where those things were.
And so I just was like. I need your help. I just pretended like I was really helpless and he loved helping out and I was just like come here now you have to help me. I dunno where the flossers are. And he, I knew that he would know where they were. So he came into the bathroom, he is they're right there.
I'm coming dad. So he loved being in that more parental role just for that brief moment, it made him feel, there's a sense of purpose and he, he felt helpful and nice,
[00:25:35] Hunter: and I love that. 'cause like your frustration is real. So I'm trying to think of this you guys are like professional comedy people, right?
We know this and the listener knows this, but like, how can we then say okay. How can we take some of this and maybe moving into that, like looking, shifting into the perspective of looking at it from this humorous point of view is a habit, right? For you Arthur and you Stephanie, but so how can we make it a habit for ourselves when we're in a place of irritation or a place of we just, don't have any spoons left, or we're just, it's the end of the day.
You just don't have the resources and the attention. Obviously it's gonna be easier if it's a habit, but then how do you make it a habit, right? And I like what you were describing in that situation of, finding the flossers, like you had a legit moment of frustration and needing help, right?
And then just to take that and exaggerate it is like maybe an avenue in, for us regular folks who don't feel like we have sense of humor. To use this to relieve some of the stress of all the things we have to do with our recalcitrant little kids.
[00:26:44] Arthur Meyer: I feel like most people do.
I, it's hard for me to think of anyone. Okay. I can think of a couple of people who don't have a sense of humor, but I feel like 99% of people have a sense of humor. And again, it's not really about. It's honestly, it's like I, I feel like comedy at any level, professional or even just hanging out with your friends, it's about human connection, right?
Like anything that you've ever la like genuinely laughed at or found really funny, you've connected to on an actual substantial human level,
when you're laughing really hard with your friends about something, you feel a sense of connection with them. Like humor, laughing, all that stuff is a social thing.
So really when I'm talking about humor it's really about what is something that you can do to connect with your kid that's maybe a little bit, like creative or outside the box. And there's no real recipe for that. It's, but the thing is, it's like it's in everyone. Like everyone has that, everyone has their connection with their kid and they know who their kid is and.
Different people laugh at different things, different people are engaged by different things. So it's basically just making a choice in that moment of do I want to connect with them in this moment? And how do I want to do that in some sort of creative way? Yeah that's my thought on that.
[00:28:00] Stephanie Drake: Yeah. I find especially like in TV, film. Comedy acting. If you're trying to be funny, it's usually not funny. It's when you're not trying or when you're taking something really seriously. That's usually where the humor comes. I think that's what works so well for ABC Parenting. But just last night, I had that thought because I was putting Miller down for bed.
And we were sitting in his chair, we had read books, we had turned out the light, and I was so tired and he wanted to keep talking and I was like you can tell me something and I'll listen. And he started just like listing colors and I made, he said yellow, and I just went. He busted out laughing like you, so you don't even have to try.
Like your kids are just gonna find you funny. Which is so it's so it was such a wonderful reminder I really don't need to try that hard.
And I don't have to put on a big show for him all the time. It can be so the simplest thing. And then he went on for another five minutes just thinking it was the funniest thing ever.
And I just went,
[00:29:17] Arthur Meyer: I do love that kids, can the kids find anything funny? I remember when I was a camp counselor, there was a camper who, he would do this thing where we'd be eating lunch at the table and he would I. Dip his head under the table and go, no. And then he would pop up and go, yes, like that.
And everyone thought it was the funniest thing. There's not even like a joke there. I thought it was really funny too. It was very
funny. No.
[00:29:43] Arthur Meyer: Yes. I'm like, that's a good one, Ben.
[00:29:48] Hunter: Yeah, I think we need we need to have like our resources, right? To let some of our silly side come out. And just for you guys, what are you, what do you do?
You're obviously balancing, entertainment career and like parenting and things like that. What are you doing to, to release the stress in your life, to take care of yourselves and does, maybe does humor have anything to do with it? I dunno.
[00:30:12] Arthur Meyer: For me, it's a weird thing where like my, I guess my profession is comedy and honestly I really feel the least stressed when I am in the act of writing or you when I'm making something.
So writing episodes of ABC Parenting even though it's work is actually. A lot of fun because there's just so much playfulness with writing where you're just like thinking about what word you want to use. Do you wanna say the, or do you wanna say and that's really fun for me. I wish I had more, I wish I had like other fun, silly outlets, but I don't.
I probably, yeah,
[00:30:47] Hunter: I
[00:30:47] Arthur Meyer: probably should but writing Coyote is really fun for me.
[00:30:51] Hunter: That's the epitome of that whole saying, right? Do something you love and you'll never work a day in your life. Isn't that the saying? Yeah. Yeah. No, that's cool. How about you Stephanie?
[00:31:00] Stephanie Drake: I also wish I had more things to de-stress my life.
But I'd say the things I do, I love, this is gonna sound so silly, but I love all things skincare. Applying face masks, going to get a facial, going to Sephora and looking at all the things that makes me happy. I also, I'm doing a 28 day wall Pilates challenge. Just always finding things that I can do.
And also there's a big part of being an actor and a writer where you have to. Have a full life outside of that too. I think having a kid obviously helps with that, but also, yeah, working out do trying new things. One of my favorite things to do right now actually is I've, I like to bake and I'll bake and listen to Broadway show tunes and that.
It's one thing that I love to do. Yeah.
[00:32:07] Hunter: Stay tuned for more Mindful Mama podcasts right after this break.
[00:32:45] Arthur Meyer: What's the, what's like a baking combo and show tune combo that you did? Brownies and Jesus Christ Superstar. Yeah. Yeah.
[00:32:53] Stephanie Drake: Let's see. I was listening to Avita the other day while making banana bread.
[00:33:02] Arthur Meyer: You should do, you should start like your own channel for this where it's like, each episode is like a different recipe in a different musical.
[00:33:09] Stephanie Drake: Okay,
[00:33:11] Hunter: sure. I like this.
[00:33:13] Arthur Meyer: Do like an. Apple fritters and I don't know, Avita, what you just said. Avita Dam Yankees. Those are the only musicals I can think of. Avita and Dam Yankees.
[00:33:22] Hunter: That's amazing. You should totally do that. What aspects of being a parent and having a kid do you find funny?
[00:33:29] Arthur Meyer: It's just so chaotic. It's just always I think it's the chaos of it. That you never know. They're just, I guess I shouldn't say completely unpredictable, but pretty unpredictable. Like the, like even as for as well as you know them, they're just constantly entering a new phase of growth and development. So there's just, you're like, okay, I don't know how they're gonna be in this phase. Like the other day I took Theo to the park and we were in Prospect Park and there were hundreds of people there, and. It was a little hat outside. So Theo took off his shirt and then he proceeds to start taking off his pants and his underpants too.
And I go, oh no, Theo, you have to keep your clothes on, or you have to at least keep your, underwear and your pants on. And he goes, but I'm sweaty. And I was like, huh, okay. He does have a pretty good point there. But I was like, okay, let's compromise. You keep the shorts and we'll take the underwear off and you can keep the shirt off.
Okay. And he like, just barely agreed to that. I dunno what I would've done if he had insisted on remaining naked except for socks and shoes.
[00:34:33] Hunter: That, that's actually, Arthur a great example in raising good humans and mindful parenting. I talk about win-win problem solving and the old way of solving problems is that, the parent was always solving the problems and then after 15 years of that, you could, has built up so much resentment that you know, they hate you and then they're an adolescent, so we don't want that.
No. So a better way of doing that is win-win problem solving, which is hey. What are you needing? And then what am I needing and how can we make sure both of our needs get met? So like your son is I need to be, I need to have less clothes on to be less sweaty. And you were like, I need to not have everybody staring at my kid's private.
Yes. My naked kid.
[00:35:11] Arthur Meyer: My, yes. That's my need. My need is to not have. Is to not be the father of a naked 2-year-old running around the park.
[00:35:19] Hunter: If it was Germany, maybe it'd be fine, but no you're not there. You're in the United States. So yeah. But that's a great way of modeling that kind of okay, let's, let me listen to you and hear what you need.
But also hold some boundaries and share what I need. But not, not necessarily impose no, you have to put every stitch of clothes back on because I say so. Like you're listening. You're actually co finding a way to meet both everybody. Everybody's needs in this situation.
[00:35:45] Arthur Meyer: Yeah, totally.
[00:35:46] Hunter: Good job. Good job, Arthur.
[00:35:48] Arthur Meyer: Thank you. Thank you. I get a gold star. Yeah.
[00:35:52] Stephanie Drake: But
[00:35:52] Arthur Meyer: That's what I would say is the, I think there's just a natural chaos to parenting that kind of aligns nicely with comedy. 'cause comedy's all about just, we live in a naturally chaotic world, and we're just, we just wanna laugh about it, about how weird and arbitrary everything is, yeah. The rules, the world that we've designed and set up,
[00:36:12] Hunter: yeah, you there? I think there really is a choice there. Sometimes I go through periods where I'm like, it's the world is always like horrifying and scary and funny and beautiful and it's like all the things all at once.
All the time. Yeah. And when you're seeing some of the scarier parts of the world, it can be, it can feel bleak and dark, but like you also do have to make a point, like Mr. Rogers said, right? You have to look for the helpers. You have to look for the humor. You have to look for that, and I love that's, that's part of a muscle that you're honing that we can hone too.
Dear listener, we can do it too. Stephanie, what do you find funny about being a parent?
[00:36:48] Stephanie Drake: I absolutely am loving this three-year-old. Age. I've one of the few people to say that about the three Yearold A Oh wow. I dunno. I am, I'm loving it. I wasn't crazy about zero to three. But I'm loving his personality.
I find everything he does. Pretty funny. Except. When he hits me or that's another conversation. But yeah, it has its struggles of course. But even though it's like tough when he is saying no and has so many opinions and tells me to stop doing something. I find it funny.
I think it's such a beautiful time in his life that he's finding his voice and his dance moves are killer and his little voice. Oh my God. Yeah. I just,
[00:37:49] Arthur Meyer: kids ki like kids dancing is the funniest thing. It's
[00:37:52] Stephanie Drake: the best.
[00:37:53] Arthur Meyer: Yeah.
[00:37:54] Stephanie Drake: Yeah. And since we know that he. He is a funny kid, so I thrive off of that as well.
And it's hard though when he's not in a good mood or not feeling good to try and snap him out of that because you can't, he's allowed to not feel good. He's allowed to be in a bad mood. But. I, as an adult, feel like I'm never allowed to be in a bad mood. So I have to remind myself that it's okay that he's cranky.
Stop trying to make him feel something that he's just not gonna feel right now. I don't know how I got on that, but. I find so much of what he does funny
[00:38:42] Hunter: and maybe, reminding yourself that you are also allowed to be cranky and in a bad mood. Yeah. That you are, you don't have to be in a good mood all the time.
But what, as you were speaking, Stephanie what I was realizing is that like sometimes when, for a lot of parents, like when we're in a 3-year-old situation, three year olds are so like, it's three and 13 are the big ages of separation. Three is this big I do it myself stage, which can be great and can be incredibly frustrating and the tantrums can be incredibly hard.
But I guess what I'm hearing is like that instead of what a lot of people do, which is like I. Future pace. Oh, my kid is like this now they're gonna be like, if they're like this now, what are they gonna be like in 10 years? What is it gonna be like in this year? I better that's where I think a lot of parents' fear and stress comes from.
And what I'm hearing from you, what you're describing about finding the humor in like a 3-year-old fight and in finding his voice and all the saying no and things like that. Is that you're very much in the present moment. You are seeing it for what it is right now, not with a lens of like curiosity.
And this is also a one of the attitudes of mindfulness is non-judgment or curiosity and focusing on the present moment. So this you're seeing this with curiosity, with open-mindedness, with this lens of this is crazy and amazing. And yeah, it's interesting 'cause what you're describing is a shift in, in lens and a shift of, maybe for those of you, if you're a listener, you say, oh yeah.
I'm someone who future pieces, and that makes me stressed and worried.
Interrupting that and getting your, saying, okay, I was future facing. Let me just focus on here now and see. See what it the, you know what is here. Is there humor here that I can, yeah. That I can notice and pick up on and highlight for myself.
[00:40:32] Stephanie Drake: That's so interesting. I've never once thought, if he's like this now, what's he going to be like in 10 years? I've never even thought that's. Such an interesting concept. Timmy, Arthur, have you ever thought that way?
[00:40:48] Arthur Meyer: My wife and I play this game all the time where we'll be walking down the street in New York and we'll see a group of four teenage boys and we'll play a game called, which one is Theo?
And we'll just be like, like which of these four kids is he going to be? And I always choose whoever the clearly most obnoxious of those four is just 'cause I know it'll. Bother my wife in a funny way. But yeah, no, that is totally I do feel like that is a little bit of a worry that I have as, I think it especially pertains to my own, if I am angry or upset about something, I have this, this feeling of oh, I don't want to show too much of it to Theo. 'cause then he'll, then I'll be modeling anger and then he will, but which I don't think is the right way to look at it, but you know how your parenting brain can just jump to the worst, you could just catastrophize so easily.
But that's actually another thing that if I'm able to step back and be a little bit observant about that, like first of all, if I'm able to step back from my anger in that moment and be like, I am angry right now. Be mindful about it and a little bit a meditational state, if I can, then that is helpful in the moment.
But then also. Usually those things that really affect me emotionally are things that I could then turn into an episode of a b, c parenting, for example, or look at humor humorously. So we actually do have an episode about an how to deal with anger in front of your children. I. How not to be too angry, but you don't Yeah.
I
[00:42:12] Hunter: can't believe I've seen, haven't seen that one. I have to watch that one. I talk about the constantly. Oh yeah. It's a good one.
[00:42:19] Arthur Meyer: That's a really fun one. 'cause you'll get to see me and Stephanie be the angriest that we are capable of being. And you'll get to see Stephanie. Break a a breakaway glass bottle on my head.
[00:42:30] Hunter: Oh, wow. Yeah. Good times. I love that. I love that.
[00:42:33] Arthur Meyer: Yeah. Breakaway. For anyone listening, it means not real. Yeah.
[00:42:38] Hunter: Okay. While I have you here, and while you're here, Stephanie, I ha I do have to ask you the most important question of all, which is like when you were working on Badand. And how were you constantly crushing on John Ham or was everybody constantly what were, what was the talk in the background like when he walked away, were you all just oh my God, I dunno.
How was it working with John?
[00:43:05] Stephanie Drake: He's a dream. He's a dream. He is everything you would hope, superstar would be yeah, he's so handsome. He's so handsome in person. I would get beat red anytime I was in the room with him. Anytime he spoke to me, I would just turn bright red. Yeah, he, and he's lovely and he's nice and he's a wonderful acting partner and I can't say enough good things about him.
But yes, everyone. Everyone loves him.
[00:43:38] Arthur Meyer: You got to kiss him in one scene.
[00:43:40] Stephanie Drake: I, yes, I did.
[00:43:43] Arthur Meyer: Were you really nervous for that?
[00:43:45] Stephanie Drake: Wow. Yeah, I was so nervous. And everyone was like giggly that day on set 'cause they knew it was coming and then yeah, once we rehearsed it. I was like, okay, like I can do this over and over and over again.
But yeah, it was Do we need another tape? Yeah, exactly. I don't think we got that. But no, that was, I joked, I even made a joke in my vows at my wedding that my wedding day was better. Then the day I got to kiss John Ham, but just by a little bit.
[00:44:24] Arthur Meyer: He really is. Something like, I saw him, I was at, when I worked at Fallon, I was backstage one time and he just, he was the guest on the show that day and he just turned to me and was like, excuse me, do you know where the bathroom is?
Or, and it is just, he just sounds and looks like, Ja, excuse me. You know where the bathroom is? Like I can't quite do it, but I was just like yes. Down the hall to the right down.
[00:44:44] Hunter: Yeah. Oh my God. Just even hearing about these, like my cheeks hurt from smiling. I'm just like, oh gosh, I can't imagine.
That's so exciting. Okay, so then maybe one final question. So since we're talking about stress relief, and wanting to relieve the stress of parenting, what is your, what are some of your favorite go-to stress relieving watches or for TV and entertainment stuff. We can lose ourselves and escape parenting just a little bit.
[00:45:11] Arthur Meyer: Then you go ahead Stephanie.
[00:45:14] Stephanie Drake: I was just gonna say, I'm a big reality TV fan. So I watch all The Housewives, all those shows. I'm just about done with that new mom talk show about the Mormon Housewives. Oh, very entertaining. I just like to have mindless.
[00:45:31] Hunter: Yeah,
[00:45:31] Stephanie Drake: mindless things on when I wanna tune out and then my husband and I watch like a bunch of the like good shows, but stuff that I watch myself is just that mindless if I'm paying attention or not, doesn't matter.
[00:45:46] Hunter: Escapism, actually, my husband and I just started watching. Love is Blind England. Oh, it's really fun. I heard that's good. Yeah. Very funny and good. Yes.
[00:45:55] Arthur Meyer: I remember really liking love on the Spectrum which I think was a UK show as well.
[00:46:00] Hunter: Oh yeah, I've heard that recommended so many times. I really wanna try to li watch it.
[00:46:04] Arthur Meyer: That's a fantastic show. I tend to seek out things that are stressful and intense, and I dunno why this is, but like the two most recent things I've watched recently are couples therapy, which do you know about that show? I have.
[00:46:15] Hunter: I've heard of that. But I, yeah, I haven't watched it yet. Have you heard of it, Stephanie?
No.
[00:46:20] Arthur Meyer: It's basically just you're watching actual therapists. Yeah, it's like a, the, it's like actual couples therapy. It's it like on, on paper it's like, why would any parent or married person want to watch this at night? But it's a really well-made show. That's really interesting. And then I also recently watched the documentary on Netflix about the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders.
So good, which was fantastic. Also an intense watch 'cause it's a very stringently run operation. Oh
[00:46:49] Stephanie Drake: yeah. They're all on the verge of a mental breakdown.
[00:46:51] Arthur Meyer: Yes. They're on the verge of a mental breakdown and they also all have like job, like Jo Real like jobs. There's someone
[00:46:58] Hunter: Oh yeah. They get paid nothing to do that. They get
[00:46:59] Arthur Meyer: paid like nothing, like 10 bucks a game or something like that. And then they're like an jump into splits. Yeah. Jump in a split. So then wake up at 6:00 AM and go be an orthodontist,
[00:47:08] Hunter: oh my God. Oh my God. All right. This has been so fun to talk to you, Arthur and Stephanie. I love it. I'm really enjoying ABC Parenting. I recommend it to you, dear listener. Check it out everywhere. You can find the things- YouTube and TikTok and Instagram. Anything else you wanna leave us with, Arthur and Stephanie?
[00:47:34] Arthur Meyer: I feel like I need to come up with something, so I'll just say that You
[00:47:37] Hunter: need like a closing.
[00:47:38] Arthur Meyer: Yeah. I'll just give a fun fact. When I was in third grade, I had a bowling birthday party. That's a fun fact.
[00:47:44] Stephanie Drake: Oh
[00:47:44] Arthur Meyer: yeah. That's
[00:47:45] Stephanie Drake: great. Oh speaking of bowling and Love is Blind. We took our son bowling on Monday and we were ne right next to Vanessa Lashay and her kids. Wow. The host of Love is Blind.
Yeah.
[00:47:57] Arthur Meyer: Oh, was she? How was she at bowling? Was she a decent bowler? She was. Yeah. How are you at bowling Stephanie?
[00:48:04] Hunter: Not good.
[00:48:04] Arthur Meyer: Okay.
[00:48:06] Hunter: I also stink at bowling. Yeah. It feels like you should be able to do it. Like every time I'm like, it's gonna work this time. Like I'm doing it the right way.
Yeah. And it never works.
Yeah.
[00:48:20] Stephanie Drake: How are you at edit? How are you a good bowler? Are there, yeah, I'm
[00:48:23] Arthur Meyer: Hit and miss. I think my high one 70, which is pretty good. But then a lot of times I'll just, it's just gutter balls all day.
[00:48:30] Stephanie Drake: Yeah.
[00:48:31] Hunter: All right. Now that we've cleared that up I'm,
[00:48:32] Arthur Meyer: yeah.
Yeah. Know your listeners are clamoring.
[00:48:36] Hunter: Thank you guys so much for coming on the Mindful Parenting Podcast. It's been a pleasure. Thank
[00:48:40] Stephanie Drake: you.
[00:48:41] Arthur Meyer: Thank you so much.
[00:48:46] Hunter: Hey, I hope you enjoyed this episode. Oh my God. The whole idea of kissing John Hamm, so amazing. Some mamas got all the fun. Wow. I hope this episode brought you a little less stress, a little more joy today. And if it did, please help us make making the podcast for us more sustainable. We need to grow our numbers in this sort of new podcast landscape, and we really need your help to just text a friend about the show today. Make sure you're subscribed. Text it to somebody who could also use some fun in parenting, and that would make a big difference to me, to my team, the people that work on this podcast and help us continue to bring it to you for free.
And make sure you're subscribed 'cause we have some awesome episodes coming up: we're gonna be talking to the people pleasers in the world. That's gonna be an episode for you. And then we're gonna be talking about siblings and growing great sibling relationships, becoming a better communicator. So much motherhood, sexuality, all kinds of great stuff happening here. So make sure you're subscribed and you'll hear all of those. And thank you for being here.
Thank you for being part of the Mindful Mama Podcast community through my name changes and all different things. Remember, if you want to search for some episodes, you can go to MindfulMamaMentor.com under the Podcast tab. You can search for episodes.
Try to remember all the things. The most important thing to say is to just be kind to yourself. Be kind to each other. Practice some compassion for you, for your kids. It's hard to be human here on earth. So I hope this episode has helped you with that, and I'm so glad to connect with you. I wish you an amazing week on this day.
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